Did the unthinkable (my Aikido journey)

[TDWoj]

That's great TD !! I am happy for you !!

I left my practices behind cause a surgery I have to do. I had an accident at dojo and it makes me too sad because I miss it very much!! Then..I'm glad for you. It seems that this wonderful art will never stop !!!

Congratulations !!!

Thanks, Isa Marie. I hope I can improve a little, even if it's just enough to feel like my body isn't deteriorating any more. Maybe at the end of three months, I'll walk like I'm seventy years old instead of ninety! That'll be an improvement, right?

 

[Isa Marie]

Thanks, Isa Marie. I hope I can improve a little, even if it's just enough to feel like my body isn't deteriorating any more. Maybe at the end of three months, I'll walk like I'm seventy years old instead of ninety! That'll be an improvement, right?

Ohh very good for body and mind !!! See..until Romeu, the dog... practices !! is great !! look at his foot..at pic 2, a very faithful discíple !!! LOL

 

[TDWoj]

Oh, and as if the embarrassment of my size as related to my inabilities wasn't enough...

The trousers of my gi don't fit.

Do you think they'd mind if I wore something else underneath?

-TD, having declared war on her body, her body takes revenge... with further embarrassment

 

[pantera]

It was an introductory seminar so they showed all the things you are likely to learn. The sword stuff was easier for me than the other techniques. However, no swords for me for a long time, I guess! I just hope I make it through my three months without doing myself a serious injury!

Oh, and don't worry Amos - I probably wouldn't be able to catch you, anyway!

-TD, feeling less discouraged but still apprehensive about the wisdom of this idea (what was I thinking?)

It's normal you've got some doubts about your physical abilities but don't give up. It will go better and better. but at the beginning you've got the feeling that it's so hard you won't be able to reach out your goals. That's not true. But just give you time. As Isa Marie, i've been injuried and had to be operated at my knee. It turned bad and i now i've got a lot of pain. But i do my best and it's the most important. My sensei tells me that if it's too hard for me (especially all the movments on the knee) just don't do it. But i do it with my rythm. Sometimes, i'm fed up being stuck with my pain but anyway i progress. So don't worry, you'll go farther. You just need the will and i can read that you have it. So keep it up. You have the spiritual support of everybody here.
Take care and good luck.

 

[Isa Marie]

Pantera...

I just hope hear you fine about your knee. I know hos is difficult to live apart of our practices there. I was at karate too, but it was the first practice the doctors asked me to stop, and the worst is..forever !!They until agree with my return to Aikido after surgery..I mean...after lots of days, really a long períod in convalescence. Last week end my Sensei came to visit me..he wants give me all support to me do a surgery and return to dojo soon, but...I am not encouraged...may be scared, and I think that I won't be back to practices anymore. I torn "tissues" in my belly at "tatame" in one of techniques, then I lost my trust to stay there...just scared about if it will happen again !! Just my son keeps trainning !!

"tatame" - I mean that place where you do the practices...soft !! (forgive my bad english)

Ok..anyway...I have another plans to my life this year and may be it wouldn't possible to me...however I hope you return to your practices...they are greats to our lives !!

 

[TDWoj]

Well, it would be nice if I could actually get there... my first (paid) class was supposed to be tonight, where they cover the basics, but thanks to this stupid on-site job I've got for the rest of the week, I wasn't able to go. That's one of the reasons why I hate working on-site at the client's - there's absolutely NO flexibility in scheduling time. I have to stay until the job's finished, and that's that.

I have to say first I was disappointed, and then I was furious. Now I'm just becoming resigned to the fact that the universe really does have it in for me; this happens every time something good comes my way. Things happen to prevent me from doing what I want, especially if it's something that improves the quality of my life.

I'm having second thoughts about this whole thing now; there's no point in going if I can't make the committment, and it looks like I'm going to be working more on-site this year than before. I'm just so frustrated that this is happening now, right when I need something like this the most.

Three hours a week; that's all I'm asking for. It doesn't seem like much, does it. Hell, I work up to twelve hours a day, 6-7 days a week. And yet, I couldn't even take one bloody hour to go to a class, just because I was working somewhere where there was no time flexibility.

I swore this year I wasn't going to let work rule my life the way it has been, but two weeks into the New Year, and already, the universe is reminding me that I'm not allowed to do anything for myself.

-TD, bitterly disappointed

 

[Jules]

Well, I don't know how wonderful or special I am; I'm already beginning to have second thoughts about continuing on with this insane idea! But I've paid for my first three months, so I'm determined to put my best effort into it.

But I did not mention Steven when asked why I joined; partly because no one else mentioned him, but mostly because it's not really because of him, except indirectly, that I chose aikido. And now it's turning out to be harder than I expected because of my physical limitations. They make it unlikely I'll be able to learn the form at all with any kind of proficiency. And I don't how long it'll take, if ever, before I get over being afraid to fall.

-TD, worried that once again, her body is going to let her down

You do not think you are special? You shouldn't talk like that!!! Shame on you!
Do you need a reminder from your friends on the forum how special you are?.....well.....YOU ARE!!! now.....so how are you? Peachy! You have a fear of falling to?.........CRASH!....I am ok. hee, hee. I can't crash...my tushie is in the computer chair.

 

[pantera]

Pantera...

I just hope hear you fine about your knee. I know hos is difficult to live apart of our practices there. I was at karate too, but it was the first practice the doctors asked me to stop, and the worst is..forever !!They until agree with my return to Aikido after surgery..I mean...after lots of days, really a long períod in convalescence. Last week end my Sensei came to visit me..he wants give me all support to me do a surgery and return to dojo soon, but...I am not encouraged...may be scared, and I think that I won't be back to practices anymore. I torn "tissues" in my belly at "tatame" in one of techniques, then I lost my trust to stay there...just scared about if it will happen again !! Just my son keeps trainning !!

"tatame" - I mean that place where you do the practices...soft !! (forgive my bad english)

Ok..anyway...I have another plans to my life this year and may be it wouldn't possible to me...however I hope you return to your practices...they are greats to our lives !!

Normaly, the doctors had told me that sport was over for me. they told me that i'd be probably able to walk again and that's all. But after 6 months of intensive reeducation, i've been able to do more than expected. So i came back to judo. Now i practice aikido. Of course it hurts all the time, and just like you, i'm always scared to be injuried again.Especially. But i'm happy 'cos' i practice martial arts again. I can't imagine myself without sport. I'd be a lion (sorry a panther) in a cage. Martial arts are good for my spiritual balance. Sorry to hear you say that you won't practice anymore. For people who love martial arts, it's difficult to stay out of a tatame. I hope you'll find a way to come back or i hope you find something else in your life to accomplish yourself.
take care.

 

[pantera]

What about finding another job. one with a flexible schedule. It would be also a way to start a new life and leave all you bad ouvenirs and frustration behind you?

 

[TDWoj]

I don't often work on-site - I mostly work at home, which allows me a lot of flexibility (except when I'm facing a major deadline). But my own client base is shrinking since my business colleague is getting out of the business, and I get most of my business from her. I have no choice; it's temp work until I can find something I like doing for the few years I have left before retirement.

I don't want a full-time job; working in this office as a temp for the last four weeks is making me crazy. I like being a freelance worker, working at home.

No, this is the way things are. There was a deadline, there was nothing I could do about it, I had to stay and it's always going to be like that. That's just the way things are; the sooner I accept that, the better.

People around here rag on me for being negative; but every time I get close to a happy moment, doing something I really enjoy and want to do, the universe steps up and slaps me down. I can't make good things happen for myself. I've tried. Believe me, I've tried. But this happens every single time. I just don't have the energy any more to fight against the universe. It always wins.

-TD, frankly tired of giving up the things that make life bearable for the sake of the job, but not seeing any way to accommodate both

 

[Jules]

TD, many times I feel like a crap magnet. When I try to do something right...something goes wronge. In my family I have always felt like a black sheep. I am sure they didn't mean to make me feel that way but many times I do. At home...I touch thinks they fall over..or break or....get my drift. There are times I swear I could speak a foriegn language even if I don't know one I get so frustrated.

I was thinking about your post and the prior ones here. These came to me...
Psalms 112:7 He will not be afraid of evil tidings; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.
A quote: "When we experience suffering, for tribulations teach us where True comfort can be found."~David Sper
"standing at the portal of the opening year, words of comfort meet us, hushing every fear."~Havergal

 

[tenshinaikidoka]

Keep at it TD, do not give up. As you can see lots of people have been through injury on this forum. But on a postive note, things can only improve, and I mean that. I ahve seen near cripples come into the dojo and after several months of practice, they are moving like a new person. This is not inclusive of everyone, but the point is, with time, everything will fall into place and you laugh wondering how you ever were the way you were when you first started. I think most people share your thoughts of doubt when they first started doing martial arts, especially Aikido or similar art. Keep your chin up, and if you want, I will personally fly there and give you private lessons so that you can be more proficient at the dojo. Please do not give up, it is such a unique and awsome experience for everyone.

If you ever need to talk or anything, you can PM me and I will give you my email so we can coorespond.

 

[tora]

As the great man said "Once begun,it never ends".That's a beginning of your new journey,TD.

 

[TDWoj]

Keep at it TD, do not give up. As you can see lots of people have been through injury on this forum. But on a postive note, things can only improve, and I mean that. I ahve seen near cripples come into the dojo and after several months of practice, they are moving like a new person. This is not inclusive of everyone, but the point is, with time, everything will fall into place and you laugh wondering how you ever were the way you were when you first started. I think most people share your thoughts of doubt when they first started doing martial arts, especially Aikido or similar art. Keep your chin up, and if you want, I will personally fly there and give you private lessons so that you can be more proficient at the dojo. Please do not give up, it is such a unique and awsome experience for everyone.

If you ever need to talk or anything, you can PM me and I will give you my email so we can coorespond.

Thanks, tenshinaikidoka. I may need those private lessons! I had my first paid-for class yesterday; at least this time I was able to go down without too much fear when it was my turn to be uke. And, I was able to get up from a kneeling position 9 tries out of 10, so I guess that's an improvement in itself! It was only a one-hour class, and I was still exhausted at the end of it. My next milestone will be to get through a class without losing my breath before the end of it!

Now, if I can only find a gi that fits...

 

[tenshinaikidoka]

Your welcome TD, keep up the good work!!!

 

[suziwong]

Thanks, tenshinaikidoka. I may need those private lessons! I had my first paid-for class yesterday; at least this time I was able to go down without too much fear when it was my turn to be uke. And, I was able to get up from a kneeling position 9 tries out of 10, so I guess that's an improvement in itself! It was only a one-hour class, and I was still exhausted at the end of it. My next milestone will be to get through a class without losing my breath before the end of it!

Now, if I can only find a gi that fits...

oh dear, be more patient then everything will be good !!
Cong. my friend you will be successfull..

sincerely

suzi

 

[Jules]

I would be quite a site to see me get up from a kneeling position. My knees are shot from track in high school. They lost their "springs" so to speak. I think they are starting to get arthritis in them.

 

[TDWoj]

Well, today's class was taught by the dojo's head instructor, a 5th dan.

Did I mention... ow? I still haven't recovered from Thursday's lesson!

I'm still having fun, although learning to relax is proving a bit difficult. The class was packed today - the new students actually outnumbered the long-term students!

I was told by one of the other students that I'm already showing signs of improvement, as regards falling down. I'll have to take her word for it - it's still pretty damned difficult from my perspective! (ow)

There is a seminar with a 7th dan Sensei next month to celebrate my dojo's 20th anniversary. The fee is more than I can afford right now so it's doubtful I'll be going (and there's no way I'd last a full day, let alone 2 full days - I'm still having trouble lasting through one class).

Ow...

 

[Amos Stevens]

rah rah rah..I'm your little cheering squad TD!

Anyone can fall down,but to do it the correct way

 

[TDWoj]

rah rah rah..I'm your little cheering squad TD!

Anyone can fall down,but to do it the correct way

Thanks, Amos!

I just wish I had somewhere to go to practice on the days that I don't have classes. I never thought rolling could be so difficult... and I just found out after attending 40 classes, comes the first test. Oh, brother. As if...

 

[micky]

its great that you got started , good luck !

 

[Amos Stevens]

How about the park TD?

 

[pantera]

I'm happy to hear that you didn't give up TD. You made the most difficult: take the decision of keep it up. You'll find here all the support you need to go on practicing. Each time you feel like you wanna give up whatever the reason is, just talk to us and will may be able to convine you must keep on practicing. You can be proud of yourself. Believe me; Congratulations.
Best wishes.

 

[tenshinaikidoka]

Just remembe3r TD, there is no ending, everyone in the martial arts is continuing to learn. And with your first test comes your first of many acomplishments. Keep it up, you have my support.

 

[Purplelotus1]

Good job TD