Lol
- Thread starter yudansha
- Start date
Littledragon
Above The Law
yudansha said:
LOL Yudansha, you have been out haven't you.
http://www.steven-seagal.net/forum/showthread.php?t=5951
Littledragon
Above The Law
--> Ok Yuda!
Ok Yudansha, just really happy that you are back here with us.
yudansha said:
Ok Yudansha, just really happy that you are back here with us.
Littledragon
Above The Law
yudansha said:... or goats for that matter. (you hear that Julie?
Why not, are you leaving us again??
yudansha
TheGreatOne
the young ones - COVER YOUR EARS! (or shall I say eyes instead)
Two are in bed. Both are well drunk. After the first act, she says to him: "I want you!" To which, she gets the reply - "lucky you..."
A surgeon brings his Mercedes for repair.
The mechanic starts to work on the car and says: "Look, I open the hood, take the engine apart, clean it, and put it back together. Well, I'm doing the same thing you do, but why do you get paid so much, and I get so little since the jobs are so similar?"
Surgeon replies: "You'd think so, wouldn't you? Why don't you try fixing the motor while it's still running?"
When they had no television set, they altogether were watching the fan.
Letter I — that's "O" on a diet.
Letter W — that's identical twins V and V.
Letter N — that's "Z" with the face to the ground.
Letter b — that's "В" that lost its head.
Letter Q — that's the husband of "O."
Jewish Viagra has been released. What's the difference? It doesn't work on Saturdays.
- Bond, James Bond!
- Damme, van Damme, Claude van Damme, Jean Claude van Damme!
Two are in bed. Both are well drunk. After the first act, she says to him: "I want you!" To which, she gets the reply - "lucky you..."
A surgeon brings his Mercedes for repair.
The mechanic starts to work on the car and says: "Look, I open the hood, take the engine apart, clean it, and put it back together. Well, I'm doing the same thing you do, but why do you get paid so much, and I get so little since the jobs are so similar?"
Surgeon replies: "You'd think so, wouldn't you? Why don't you try fixing the motor while it's still running?"
When they had no television set, they altogether were watching the fan.
Letter I — that's "O" on a diet.
Letter W — that's identical twins V and V.
Letter N — that's "Z" with the face to the ground.
Letter b — that's "В" that lost its head.
Letter Q — that's the husband of "O."
Jewish Viagra has been released. What's the difference? It doesn't work on Saturdays.
- Bond, James Bond!
- Damme, van Damme, Claude van Damme, Jean Claude van Damme!
yudansha
TheGreatOne
Glad you're enjoying yourself.
A Russian joke (keep the weather in mind):
The North makes men out of boys ... and drunks out of men.
If you want to know a woman's shortcomings, compliment her in front of her girlfriends.
After being bitten by Mr. Jones' dog, I returned home, took out my baseball bat and, not paying attention to the great pain I was in, went out to play some baseball. The dog of Mr. Jones attacked my baseball just as I, not paying attention the the great pain I was in, was about to make the hit. I do not count myself guilty of the death of the dog of Mr. Jones, and nevermind the great pain I was in.
A Russian joke (keep the weather in mind):
The North makes men out of boys ... and drunks out of men.
If you want to know a woman's shortcomings, compliment her in front of her girlfriends.
After being bitten by Mr. Jones' dog, I returned home, took out my baseball bat and, not paying attention to the great pain I was in, went out to play some baseball. The dog of Mr. Jones attacked my baseball just as I, not paying attention the the great pain I was in, was about to make the hit. I do not count myself guilty of the death of the dog of Mr. Jones, and nevermind the great pain I was in.
yudansha
TheGreatOne
Hey, Storm!
The jokes are there to make you laugh. That is all!! (ok? )
- Hello, doctor? Help me please! I have the worst diarrhea. I can't even get off the toilet.
- My dear, you don't need to speak with me, but rather with a psychiatrist. Who, in the time of diarrhea, gets off the toilet?
During a birthday, a mother gives her daughter a beautiful toy.
- Well, what do you say?
The child remains quiet.
- Well, what do I tell your daddy, when he brings a pay check home?
The child, then without a pause, speaks out.
- Is that it?
- Answer the questions. Gender?
- Male.
- Any distinctive features?
- As many as I can wish for!
- Not good ... should be only one!
How can you tell if a blonde sent a fax?
- The fax will have a postage stamp.
Math joke (not for all of the blondes who send the above mentioned faxes ):
x = 0.9999...
10x = 9.9999...
10x - x = 9.9999... - 0.9999...
9x = 9
x = 1 !!!
A good looking young woman was swimming in a pool and lost her swimsuit. She quickly picked up some piece of cardboard to cover her charms, and trotted to the hotel.
Suddenly, loud laughter.
- There's nothing to laugh about, she proclaimed.
But, she looked at herself in the mirror, and read the sign she was holding as cover: "Adults only. Depth 2 to 10 metres."
Which end of the rope should you throw to a drowning politician?
- Both.
Teacher: "Bobby, what would be your ideal school?"
Bobby: "Closed."
A hooligan prank calls:
- Listen, beautiful, if only you'd known what I'm holding in my hand, you'd be stunned...
A calm woman's voice answers back:
- If it only fits into one hand, I ask that you do not call any more!
The jokes are there to make you laugh. That is all!! (ok?
)- Hello, doctor? Help me please! I have the worst diarrhea. I can't even get off the toilet.
- My dear, you don't need to speak with me, but rather with a psychiatrist. Who, in the time of diarrhea, gets off the toilet?
During a birthday, a mother gives her daughter a beautiful toy.
- Well, what do you say?
The child remains quiet.
- Well, what do I tell your daddy, when he brings a pay check home?
The child, then without a pause, speaks out.
- Is that it?
- Answer the questions. Gender?
- Male.
- Any distinctive features?
- As many as I can wish for!
- Not good ... should be only one!
How can you tell if a blonde sent a fax?
- The fax will have a postage stamp.
Math joke (not for all of the blondes who send the above mentioned faxes
):x = 0.9999...
10x = 9.9999...
10x - x = 9.9999... - 0.9999...
9x = 9
x = 1 !!!
A good looking young woman was swimming in a pool and lost her swimsuit. She quickly picked up some piece of cardboard to cover her charms, and trotted to the hotel.
Suddenly, loud laughter.
- There's nothing to laugh about, she proclaimed.
But, she looked at herself in the mirror, and read the sign she was holding as cover: "Adults only. Depth 2 to 10 metres."
Which end of the rope should you throw to a drowning politician?
- Both.
Teacher: "Bobby, what would be your ideal school?"
Bobby: "Closed."
A hooligan prank calls:
- Listen, beautiful, if only you'd known what I'm holding in my hand, you'd be stunned...
A calm woman's voice answers back:
- If it only fits into one hand, I ask that you do not call any more!
Amos Stevens
New Member
Hmm I thought we already had a laughter thread?
