Obituary for Common Sense

Amos Stevens

New Member
OBITUARY FOR MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, by the name of
Common
Sense.

Common Sense lived a long life but died in the United States from heart
failure on the beginning of the new millennium.

No one really knows how old he was, since his birth records were long
ago
lost in bureaucratic red tape. He selflessly devoted his life to
service
in
schools, hospitals, homes, factories, helping folks get jobs done
without
fanfare and foolishness. For decades, petty rules, silly laws, and
frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common Sense.

He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to
come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, and that
life
isn't always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend
more
than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in
charge,
not the kids), and it's okay to come in second.

A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the
Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and
educational
trends including body piercing, whole language, and "new math."

But his health declined when he became infected with the
"If-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it" virus.

In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for the ravages
of
well intentioned, but overbearing regulations.

He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers.

His health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented
zero-tolerance policies.

Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for
kissing a
classmate, a teen suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch,
and
a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his
condition.

It declined even further when schools had to get parental consent to
administer aspirin to a student but could not inform the parents when a
female student was pregnant or wanted an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments
became
contraband, Churches became businesses, criminals received better
treatment
than their victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in everything
from
the Boy Scouts to professional sports.

Finally, when a woman, failing to realize that a steaming cup of coffee
was
hot, was awarded a huge settlement, Common Sense threw in the towel.

As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic, but was
kept
informed of developments regarding questionable regulations, such as
those
for low flow toilets, rocking chairs, and stepladders.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his
wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by two stepbrothers: My Rights, and Ima Whiner.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
 

Hallarian

New Member
Amos, I swear you have just accurately described Alaska's legislature. We're broke, but our new governor who was a do nothing US senator says we'll develop Alaska and create money. Like building expensive new roads that go no where because we have more room to spare than any body. Except he wants to build them where it's too swampy or cold to live there and no where to get a job once the road is built. Of course our senior US Senator, Ted Stevens is now in charge of appropriations so we will get lot's of nice pork money to play with. Common sense must have froze to death here before i t died in lower 48. BTW Amos I'm going on another overseas trip that's fairly safe and I know spot would love to go? I realize he and I kinda sneaked away the last time. Hallarian:cool:
 

Amos Stevens

New Member
Hallarian-yeah I suppose Spot can go along,just as long as he has a helicopter or jet fighter to come back home every once in a while.
Have a safe trip!
 

Mama San

Administrator
Dixie,
Just don't let Spot near your computer!
He likes to "fix' things, whether they're
broken or not! LOL!! He's a dancing little
devil though and he keep time very well!
Just watch him!!
God bless and be safe, my friend,
Mama san
 
Common sense isn't dead. As long as I'm alive, I will continue to beat it into my students (be they willing students or unwilling).
 
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