Say What???

[Jules]

I wanted to start a thread on "catch" phrases, or funny sayings you have read either on shirts, greeting cards, bumper stickers, emails, magazines, etc.
:indiffere
Here are a few....
(I will only post a few for now as to not use ALL my supplies at once!)

from Maxine cartoons on greeting cards and emails....
When I "snap," you'll be the first to go!!

Butt jiggle is just my little way of.....
Waving goodbye!

Maybe I'll wake up on the right side of the bed tomorrow...
and maybe I won't.

I can't be bothered with a cell phone in my car...
I am too busy making finger gestures to everyone

Don't like my attitude? Send me an e-mail at: www.like_I_care.com

It's "...One Nation UNDER GOD..."
or bite my skinny old butt and leave!!!

If you MUST burn our flag, please wrap yourself in it FIRST!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
I found some bumper stickers I can relate to:
When you gripe about the farmer, please do not talk with your mouth FULL!

We are farmers, our second vehicle is a tractor!

SO.....What have you all found that was funny???.....................

 

[bbryant]

I can think of one bumper sticker that I saw but could never find, I would love to have it.
"MY OTHER CAR IS A BROOM"

 

[Storm]

That would be a mother- in -law's then.
I have a t-shirt thats says "i find you unattractive,in a warthog sort of way".

 

[Amos Stevens]

T-shirt sayings:

I'm talking and I can't shut up

I'm not a tourist,I live here & I don't answer stupid questions

 

[bbryant]

I don't know about where you live but around here everyone has a bumper sticker that has on "I have a honor student at so and so school" The other day I saw one that said "My son just beat your honor student's a++"
Not funny?

 

[tora]

There was a quote on the breeches I saw in the store-I think you all know it by now "Never smile at a crocodile."

 

[Lotussan]

I saw one the other day...

"If you can read this, YOU are too *****ing close to my bumper..."

 

[Jules]

OOOoohhhh are you ready?...

I have some you can buy on t-shirts...
I got this magazine in the mail with some "off" sayings...
Wanna be a rude, crude dude?.........Read these...

1) let me guess, your parents are cousins.

2)If I gave a crap I'd give it to you.

3)Stupidville...population...you!

4)I'm not stressed out, you're just extremely annoying!!!

5)I wonder how much I can get away with and still get to heaven?

6)We all have problems, mine are just more important than yours!

7)If I got smart with you, how would you know?

8)Your lips keep moving and all I hear is "Blah, Blah, Blah..."

9)I'm sorry. My fault. I forgot you were an idiot.

10)Please go facinate someone else!

11)There is ONE problem with your face- it shows!

12)Does your head whistle in a cross wind?

13)The closer you get, the worse you look.

14) I used to care but now I take a pill for that.

15)Stupidity is not a crime, so you're free to go.

16)My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.

17)According to my wife I am VERY happy.

18)I'm retired, but I work part time as a pain in the a**.

19)It worries me how dumb you are.

20)people like you are the reason people like me need medication.

***personally, I would never wear a t-shirt with any on these sayings on them. They are a bit crude. Some were worse...

 

[Amos Stevens]

Bumper stickers:

Cat...the other white meat

Gun control-means using both hands

KEEP HONKING
… I'M RELOADING


OFFICER, WILL THIS STICKER SAYING SUPPORT LAW ENFORCEMENT STOP YOU FROM GIVING ME A TICKET?

My child was inmate of the month at the county jail


CAUTION blonde thinking

8 out of the 10 voices in my head say don't shoot

Don't steal the government hates competition

guns don't kill people-drivers with cell phones do

horn broken-watch for finger

I brake for....oh s**t no brakes

 

[ORANGATUANG]

What about this bumper sticker.."HONK IF YOUR HORNY"...saw that one this morning..

 

[Jules]

Look out!!

What about this bumper sticker.."HONK IF YOUR HORNY"...saw that one this morning..

City people must always be horny then, they are always honking their horn!!!

 

[ORANGATUANG]

Lol..boy if thats true Julie what does that say for us country folks?...

 

[Jules]

Well.............I just tell my hubby.........Meet me in the corn field and I will kiss you between the ............................................................EARS! what did you think I was going to say!!!!!!!!!

 

[ORANGATUANG]

Awww some girls have all the luck...i used to love playing needle in an haystack...get what i mean girl...gotta watch those pitchforks.

 

[Jules]

Awww some girls have all the luck...i used to love playing needle in an haystack...get what i mean girl...gotta watch those pitchforks.

I read where you married the devil...........Just kidding. Uh...maybe he wasn't at first....but from what you said since you got divorced, I would think so.

 

[Serena]

I had these posted a while ago in the "Further Off Topic" forum, but thought they'd be good here. I LOVE the motorcycle one.

 

[Jampa]

I have only one t-shirt that has a caption ))
.... very laconic...
... my Husband brought it back from London for me...
... it says

BITCH

...

 

[bbryant]

I got my neice's little girl a sweat suit that says on the front
"It's hard being a princess, but it came with the crown"
Not funny, not rude, but cute!

I loved " Keep honking, I'm reloading" and "8 out of the 10 voices in my head say don't shoot" those are good! ( We all know I am crazy)

 

[Jules]

My "drama queen" has two shirts that have these saying:
1) Drame queen
2) a little drama never hurt anyone

My t-shirt says: "Lefties" are in their "Right" mind. yup, thats me!!!

 

[tora]

My "drama queen" has two shirts that have these saying:
1) Drame queen
2) a little drama never hurt anyone

My t-shirt says: "Lefties" are in their "Right" mind. yup, thats me!!!

Hit the pedal.The right one.Not the left one