hofmae
New Member
Dear Producers, Writers, Directors and Millionares.
If you want to make a successfull seagal movie, that the fans will like there are some simple tips you have to look at:
1. Don't take homeless people to do Seagal's Voice
2. Don't take a stunt double for a scene if its not necessary (as example: When Steven is getting out of a bed)
3. We don't need in every movie a 20 year old whore that has sex with Steven.
4. Please don't slow down all fights, i think we can follow the fight in normal speed.
5. Please write a normal story. We don't need script changes, and we don't need a new enemy and a new betrayer every 3 minutes in a movie.
6. Please show Steven's Face. We don't need his face in every movie in ****ing shadows.
7. We know how a person gets out of car. We don't need in every movie 30 minutes of people getting out an in of cars (and we don't need in every movie 30 minutes of mobile phone talking)
8. We don't need a helicopter explosion that looks like it was made for 5$. We don't need it.
9. We don't need a movie where its always night. Sometimes we like to see the actors.
and finally tip 10, how can you make a good seagal movie (as example)
1. Seagals daughter get kidnapped, his wife get killed
2. Seagal finds out that the killer were russian terrorists in connection with turkish drugdealers, swiss chocolate fakers and the italian mafia
3. Seagal kills everyone (in 239 hand to hand combats)
4. At the end he takes everything that lies around and stick it into the enemys (knifes, spoons, tables, ...)
5. Seagal goes home with his daughter, and he buys his daughter and white horse in a leather suit.
Thats it.
If you want to make a successfull seagal movie, that the fans will like there are some simple tips you have to look at:
1. Don't take homeless people to do Seagal's Voice
2. Don't take a stunt double for a scene if its not necessary (as example: When Steven is getting out of a bed)
3. We don't need in every movie a 20 year old whore that has sex with Steven.
4. Please don't slow down all fights, i think we can follow the fight in normal speed.
5. Please write a normal story. We don't need script changes, and we don't need a new enemy and a new betrayer every 3 minutes in a movie.
6. Please show Steven's Face. We don't need his face in every movie in ****ing shadows.
7. We know how a person gets out of car. We don't need in every movie 30 minutes of people getting out an in of cars (and we don't need in every movie 30 minutes of mobile phone talking)
8. We don't need a helicopter explosion that looks like it was made for 5$. We don't need it.
9. We don't need a movie where its always night. Sometimes we like to see the actors.
and finally tip 10, how can you make a good seagal movie (as example)
1. Seagals daughter get kidnapped, his wife get killed
2. Seagal finds out that the killer were russian terrorists in connection with turkish drugdealers, swiss chocolate fakers and the italian mafia
3. Seagal kills everyone (in 239 hand to hand combats)
4. At the end he takes everything that lies around and stick it into the enemys (knifes, spoons, tables, ...)
5. Seagal goes home with his daughter, and he buys his daughter and white horse in a leather suit.
Thats it.