Catlady
New Member
Dear President Bush:
Take all American women who are within five years of menopause - train us for a few weeks, outfit us with
automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks, moisturizer with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate and canned
tuna - drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan &let us do what comes
naturally.
Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when doing standard stuff like grocery shopping &paying
bills, is formidable enough to make even armed men in turbans tremble.
We've had our children, we would gladly suffer or die to protect them and their future. We'd like to get
away from our husbands, if they haven't left already. And for those of us who are single, the prospect of
finding a good man with whom to share life is about as likely as being struck by lightning. We have nothing
to lose.
We've survived the water diet, the protein diet, the carbohydrate diet and the grapefruit diet in gyms &
saunas across America &never lost a pound. We can easily survive months in the hostile terrain of
Afghanistan with no food at all!
We've spent years tracking down our husbands or lovers in bars, hardware stores, or sporting events ...
finding bin Laden in some cave will be no problem.
Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a new government? Oh, please ... we've planned the seating
arrangements for in-laws and extended families at Thanksgiving dinners for years ... we understand
tribal warfare.
Between us, we've divorced enough husbands to know every trick there is for how they hide, launder, or
cover up bank accounts and money sources. We know how to find that money &we know how to seize it ... with or without the government's help!
Let us go and fight. The Taliban hates women. Imagine their terror as we crawl like ants with hot-flashes
over their god forsaken terrain.
Sincerely,
The Mature Women of the United States
Pam Brush
Take all American women who are within five years of menopause - train us for a few weeks, outfit us with
automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks, moisturizer with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate and canned
tuna - drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan &let us do what comes
naturally.
Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when doing standard stuff like grocery shopping &paying
bills, is formidable enough to make even armed men in turbans tremble.
We've had our children, we would gladly suffer or die to protect them and their future. We'd like to get
away from our husbands, if they haven't left already. And for those of us who are single, the prospect of
finding a good man with whom to share life is about as likely as being struck by lightning. We have nothing
to lose.
We've survived the water diet, the protein diet, the carbohydrate diet and the grapefruit diet in gyms &
saunas across America &never lost a pound. We can easily survive months in the hostile terrain of
Afghanistan with no food at all!
We've spent years tracking down our husbands or lovers in bars, hardware stores, or sporting events ...
finding bin Laden in some cave will be no problem.
Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a new government? Oh, please ... we've planned the seating
arrangements for in-laws and extended families at Thanksgiving dinners for years ... we understand
tribal warfare.
Between us, we've divorced enough husbands to know every trick there is for how they hide, launder, or
cover up bank accounts and money sources. We know how to find that money &we know how to seize it ... with or without the government's help!
Let us go and fight. The Taliban hates women. Imagine their terror as we crawl like ants with hot-flashes
over their god forsaken terrain.
Sincerely,
The Mature Women of the United States
Pam Brush
