Hmmm.... let's see.
I'm short (five feet plus less than an inch).
I'm fat (but getting less so).
I'm ugly (according to all the men of my acquaintance, anyhow). The accidental combination of genes from the union of my parents alas produced an unlovely result, and I can never figure out why men feel the need to berate me for something over which I had absolutely no control whatsoever.
I'm also kind, conscientious, compassionate, intelligent and witty (once I get to know you, my excess of personality is unleashed. Until then, reserved and aloof.).
(Character doesn't count amongst men when they are looking someone with whom to have a good time, or spend the rest of their lives with, alas. Young and pretty are all that matters. Hence why I'm still "on the shelf" at my advanced age, and likely to remain so forever. I'm also very strong-minded and independent - another turn-off for the fellows.)
I'm terrified of bridges, even short ones. You will never catch me driving over the fixed link from New Brunswick to Prince Edward Island, for example. And if I ever had to cross the Golden Gate Bridge in San Fransisco, you'l probably have to sedate me because I'd be freaking out every single minute I'm on it.
I have to have the window seat on an airplane, or I get claustrophobic with resultant twitchiness turning into sheer terror. As long as I can see out of a window, I'm fine, I'll even fall asleep.
I have too many books, videos and dvds.
I am, in fact, painfully shy. Get me in a room full of people and... I disappear. Talking to people I don't know face-to-face terrifies me. Most people think I'm a snob, and very stand-offish when they meet me. They don't know I'm quiet and reserved out of sheer terror of having to talk to someone I don't know.
I am not afraid of the things I should be afraid of, like walking alone after dark.
I don't like contemporary music. (Exception: blues, and early - very early - rock 'n roll.)
I don't drink, smoke or do recreational drugs.
I collect glass (wine glasses and dessert compotes) and china and porcelain teacups and saucers.
I write science fiction and fantasy, but nothing published yet. I also write articles for a magazine based here in Toronto, for newcomers to Canada.
I have no brothers or sisters.
I have been on exactly 5 dates in my entire life (the last one was in 1989). All dismal failures. (A man finds out I'm interested in him and he runs screaming into the arms of the first pretty young girl he can find. Yes, I'm that ugly and awful to be around.)
I spent one summer as a teenager in the naval reserve, where I learned to fire handguns and rifles. The recoil from the Enfield .303 nearly broke my shoulder.... I could, however, strip and reassemble a Browning nine-mm pistol in under 25 seconds, beating the ship's champ (much to the amazement of the champ and the other instructors, not to mention me.)
At the advanced age of... (mumble mumble) ...I took up aikido (this past January). It seemed like a good idea at the time.... (ow).
I'm presently looking into another outlet for my creativity and am looking to sign up as a movie extra, and also, perhaps, to take a course in improvisation at Second City. We'll see. This costs money. I don't have any.
That's all for now. I think.
