To meet new people (girls)

[ZenLateralus]

Is it good practice and healthy to try to say "hi" and work up discussion with girls that I don't know? For example, I go to a college and there really aren't girls in my classes. Would it be healthy when outside of class to walk up to random girl and try to say hi and make up some weak conversation? I'm trying to figure out on how to meet new girls in hopes that one day I could find another girlfriend. In the past I've met girlfriend's in Jr. High, High School, which seemed much easier than college. Also, I met my last girlfriend where I worked because she worked there too. I really don't think any of the girls where I currently work are either available or that I'm even interested. I ask around and most of my "friends" say that they don't know anyone I could date so that's out of the question. I know most people are like you should get to know yourself first (already do) and that I'll find someone when I'm not looking (goodness, if no one is looking than I don't see how this could work). I'm trying to get myself out to bars to try and hang at social places near the college. The single life just isn't for me. I don't see the point in finishing college, getting a good job, moving out of home, etc. when I'm not with someone that I love and who loves me. Also, I quit smoking like 4 years ago and I'm about 2 steps away from starting again. I'm not even sure that is so bad. If I'm going to be single anyway for the next couple years than what-the-hell if it calms me down first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Any suggestions or recommendations would be welcome.

 

[Storm]

Just have fun. Girls will come your way. Plenty of time to get nagged when you get older!

 

[Dani]

Do not reinforce you on it a girlfriend to find. Enjoy your life and if you expect it to few, the correct woman will already come.



Greeting Daniela

 

[Purplelotus1]

Dani, I have a huge favor to ask of you? Please do not look for your life partner in a bar? I will suggest to you to socialize as well as others have suggested, for the main reason that women are very social creatures and if you are looking, then you have to go where the girls are, but not in bars. Peace and you will meet the "one" for you.

 

[koda]

Some day everybody meets the right person, no matters how much time will pass.

 

[Lollipop]

Purple it is not Dani with the problem it is ZenLateralus!
Your day will come! There is some one for you out there! If you rush it or be with someone just to have someone you might miss the One! I have a son with the same problem, he works to much and just didn't have the time but really wanted a companion! He ran into an old friend a couple of weeks ago at the mall, he just gave her his number and said if you ever have some time and want to do something call me! She called in a couple of days and now they are spending alot of time together! I meet my husband from a picture my brother had in his wallet, my husband saw it and ask who I was, later we started dating! There really is no rhyme or reason it just happens! Seems to be a growing problem on the forum! Hang in there, you will meet someone! And it will probably be worth the wait! :apeace:

 

[Amos Stevens]

Well as others have already said,you never know when Mr or Mrs right will come along..just don't settle for what comes along because you figure you won't get another chance-somewhere out there everyone has their exact equal,and I was extremely lucky to find mine

 

[Lollipop]

Well as others have already said,you never know when Mr or Mrs right will come along..just don't settle for what comes along because you figure you won't get another chance-somewhere out there everyone has their exact equal,and I was extremely lucky to find mine

Amos you are always so complimentary about your wife and life, it is so good to hear from a guy!

 

[Jules]

I agree totally with Purplelotus....never try to meet someone in a bar. All the ones I know who met someone in a bar have turned sour. Women are social people. I find that sometimes I start talking to people(total strangers) while waiting in a line. How often do you get caught in a line...in the store....wherever...
Smile and just make small talk.

My first meeting with my husband I scared him off. Oh....he came back for more!
I met my husband in church. He had just broke up with his girlfriend two months earlier and wasn't ready to meet someone. It was as if God said "Oh really...try again buddy!"So not to come on strong...one week I would go up and talk to him...the next I would just get up and leave. One Sunday as I got up to "just leave," I looked out of the corner of my eye and Mr. "I am not ready to meet a girl" was using his long legs to go over each pew to get to me since the isles were full and he wanted to get to me before I left. I don't know if he could tell I was beaming on cloud nine!

Well...almost 18 years and four kids later.....here I am. We have hit some bumps at times but are doing good.

 

[Lollipop]

Good Morning ZenLateralus, I hope you have a good day!!!!

 

[ZenLateralus]

Well, I appreciate all the suggestions. I really wish I could just live my daily life and be happy with the way things are. After being in a relationship it is so lonely to not be in one. The happiness and smile just won't come easy for that time. I don't know what I'd do without my brother. Even though he's less than a step away from being considered an alchoholic and smokes all kinds of stuff he seems to be the only friend I have outside of school and work. Which is unfortunate because since I'm sad I drink almost every day and even though I quit smoking a few years ago I'm about to buy a pack to relax myself. I find it hard to believe that there is someone right for everybody. There are plenty of adults who never marry. What if I'm going to be the next George Costanza (Seinfeld)?

 

[bryanadams]

hey man! try the ICQ software, it works!

i met plenty of girls from this software! it's great!
you gotta try it!

if u have a questions about where to find it or how to install it, just let me know man!

good luck mate.

 

[KATHYPURDOM]

Zen don't be discurage about this. You will meet someone but going back to smoking is not going to help you. OK it may relax you but that is not going to make the situation go away. Going to bars is not the right place to meet a girl. I know because I used to go to bars all the time trying to meet someone. Guys and girls at bars, not me, just want one thing. I almost gave up meeting someone, because of my age, I was getting older and no one was in my life, until I became friends with my sister-in-law at work. She was the one that introduced me to her brother and we hit it off right away. I still thank her for introducing me to him after almost 16 years. So Zen just be paciant and the time will come for you.

 

[Lollipop]

Well, I appreciate all the suggestions. I really wish I could just live my daily life and be happy with the way things are. After being in a relationship it is so lonely to not be in one. The happiness and smile just won't come easy for that time. I don't know what I'd do without my brother. Even though he's less than a step away from being considered an alchoholic and smokes all kinds of stuff he seems to be the only friend I have outside of school and work. Which is unfortunate because since I'm sad I drink almost every day and even though I quit smoking a few years ago I'm about to buy a pack to relax myself. I find it hard to believe that there is someone right for everybody. There are plenty of adults who never marry. What if I'm going to be the next George Costanza (Seinfeld)?

For one thing there is only one George, God would never make that mistake again! I loved Seinfeld! Please don't start back smoking, I smoke like crazy and the only time I have ever been able to quit was when I was pregnant with my boys! I know so many people now who are sick and some are dying and it is because of the cigarettes! I do drink occasionally but try to control it because I would become an alcoholic easily!
Alot of adults never marry by choice, Just be careful with yourself you are still so young and so much of life is in front of you! I am much older and have made alot of mistakes just by rushing things and not waiting for what was really suppose to happen to happen!
Hang it there! Someone is on the way, you just have to wait it out!

 

[Lollipop]

I know I am not a good person to get advice from, my life has been a total wreck for years! But I have boys, I would hope someone would at least try to help them if they needed it!

 

[ORANGATUANG]

Every one has there "soul mate"...iam still waiting for mine..I hope it will hit me like an thunderbolt..when he comes my way...so never say never..

 

[Fio]

Every one has there "soul mate"...iam still waiting for mine..I hope it will hit me like an thunderbolt..when he comes my way...so never say never..

Yes, you're right . I found my soul mate, but can't tell you if he will be my husband one day . I just know that he is my soul mate because we love the same things, we shared some same spiritual experiences, we are both Christian, we are both attracted by each other spiritually . Quite honestly, if he's not my soul mate, I just don't know what he is lol

 

[ZenLateralus]

Good Morning ZenLateralus, I hope you have a good day!!!!

I guess it is a little late but good evening to you. My day was okay. I guess I'll be getting used to saying that my day is just okay. I'm still in the school semester trying to fix my grades since they got a bit messed up after the break up. Pretty much nothing is going on. Learning to enjoy my company alone is hard work.

 

[ZenLateralus]

i met plenty of girls from this software! it's great!
you gotta try it!

if u have a questions about where to find it or how to install it, just let me know man!

good luck mate.

Can you actually specify where in the country you're looking for? I can how to specify a country but that's not very narrow.

 

[TDWoj]

Is it good practice and healthy to try to say "hi" and work up discussion with girls that I don't know? For example, I go to a college and there really aren't girls in my classes. Would it be healthy when outside of class to walk up to random girl and try to say hi and make up some weak conversation? I'm trying to figure out on how to meet new girls in hopes that one day I could find another girlfriend. In the past I've met girlfriend's in Jr. High, High School, which seemed much easier than college. Also, I met my last girlfriend where I worked because she worked there too. I really don't think any of the girls where I currently work are either available or that I'm even interested. I ask around and most of my "friends" say that they don't know anyone I could date so that's out of the question. I know most people are like you should get to know yourself first (already do) and that I'll find someone when I'm not looking (goodness, if no one is looking than I don't see how this could work). I'm trying to get myself out to bars to try and hang at social places near the college. The single life just isn't for me. I don't see the point in finishing college, getting a good job, moving out of home, etc. when I'm not with someone that I love and who loves me. Also, I quit smoking like 4 years ago and I'm about 2 steps away from starting again. I'm not even sure that is so bad. If I'm going to be single anyway for the next couple years than what-the-hell if it calms me down first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Any suggestions or recommendations would be welcome.

First of all, relax. If you go looking, you won't find one. Girls can tell when a guy's in desperation mode and hunting just as much as a guy can tell when a girl's hunting. I wouldn't worry about "finding a girlfriend". Why don't you just make friends with girls and see what develops?

Secondly, DON'T START SMOKING AGAIN. It's bad for your health, bad for your teeth and breath, and what happens if you meet the girl of your dreams and she gives you thumbs down because you smoke?

Thirdly, it's not so bad striking out on your own when you're on your own. Learn how to cook - I can tell you from experience, most women love a man who can cook, and pick up after himself (and who remembers to put the toilet seat back down).

Learn how to chat to strangers and how to keep it cool without looking like you're hunting for a girlfriend. I don't know about bars - I never enjoyed going to bars myself, mostly because I was the ugly duckling amongst the girls I went out with and never got asked to dance. And you can't have an interesting conversation in a bar, anyway - too much noise.

A friend of mine wasn't looking for love when he went to a friend's New Year's Party, but he met a girl there and that was 15 years ago and he's still with her. (Bad luck for me, though; he was the one fellow I liked in my writer's group, but he saw "hunting" in my eyes and ran away.)

Did I mention, DON'T START SMOKING AGAIN?

But the main thing is to relax and work on other areas of your life, such as getting an education, getting a job that pays well enough so you can get a nice car (girls like nice cars), learning to cook (very important!), and becoming a person who is strong enough to be on his own, but soft enough to be easy to get along with. If you think you're only half a person without a girlfriend, then you have issues that you need to resolve before you get into another relationship.

-TD, who knows from her own mistakes