Littledragon
Above The Law
Don't bet on it
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
EXHIBIT Q in the ongoing case against reality television as an efficient method of unearthing undiscovered talent: "Bet Your Life," a cheap, leaden shoot-'em-up starring the two "winners" of NBC's "Next Action Star."
If your life was somehow too full to accommodate "Next Action Star" into your summer, you were not alone. The ratings were so low that NBC actually skipped an episode near the end, just to get the thing off the schedule as quickly as possible. But since the grand prize included a starring role in a TV-movie produced by action mogul Joel Silver , NBC had no choice but to air it. (Summarizing it on their Web site, a la Fox's handling of "Playing It Straight," wouldn't have worked, but what about streaming video?)
"Next Action Star" put the would-be heirs to the thrones of Arnold, Sly and, uh, Cynthia Rothrock through lessons in martial arts; stunt work; even, shockingly enough, acting. But the show seemed to fundamentally misunderstand what makes a true action star, which is bizarre, since Silver also was a producer on the series and one of the minds behind the "Lethal Weapon," "Die Hard" and "Matrix" franchises.
Sure, it helps to be built like a Roman statue or know how to execute a perfect flying spin kick, but the greats all bring more to the table. Schwarzenegger had that Teutonic arrogance, not to mention his way with campy kiss-off lines. Mel Gibson and Bruce Willis added wisecracking vulnerability to their "Lethal Weapon" and "Die Hard" heroes. And the recent success of unlikely action heroes like Keanu Reeves and Matt Damon has suggested that while you can't necessarily teach fighters to act (see Steven Seagal or Jeff Speakman ), you can teach actors to fight.
Sean Carrigan and Corinne van Ryck de Groot , the two "Next Action Star" champs, are both ex-boxers and impressive physical specimens, but both struggle mightily through most of "Bet Your Life."
A cynical updating of Richard Edward Connell's "Most Dangerous Game," it stars Carrigan as Sonny, a disgraced former quarterback who drives a limo in Vegas while fighting a gambling addiction. (We can tell he's an addict because he tells us so in the opening narration, and because his dialogue is peppered with lines like "Don't bet on it," "That's a sucker's bet if I ever saw one" and "Want to bet on it?")
On the run from a loan shark's enforcer (Van Ryck de Groot, looking like a harder-edged, leather-clad Tracy Pollan ), he stumbles into an exclusive casino, where a wealthy sociopath named Joseph invites him to participate in a human foxhunt. If Sonny is still alive after 24 hours of being chased, choked and shot at by Joseph and his goons, he wins $2.4 million bucks.
Carrigan and van Ryck de Groot don't embarrass themselves, but they don't distinguish themselves, either. Nothing they do, from the fights to the stunts to the banter, makes any real impression at all. And Silver has done them no favors by casting Billy Zane as Joseph, since he outclasses them in every area, from the casual but authoritative way he handles weapons to the way the cheesy dialogue drips out of his grinning mouth.
Now, this isn't like being out-acted by Damon or out-fought by Jean Claude Van Damme. This is Billy Zane, the guy who, if you remember at all, you remember for uttering the worst line of dialogue ever featured in an Oscar winner for Best Picture. (Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, courtesy of "Titanic": "What's his name, Picasso? He'll never amount to anything!")
Zane's career as a big-screen leading man effectively began and ended with 1996's "The Phantom," and now he stars in stuff like "Silent Warnings" and "Invincible" that goes straight to DVD or cable. If the "Next Action Star" winners can't hold their own against him, what right do they have to those titles? "Next Action Henchmen," maybe?
The stars' failure to live up to their billing shouldn't come as a surprise. The reality show talent search boom hasn't produced many promising careers at this stage.
"Project Greenlight" produced great TV shows and awful movies. Eden's Crush and O-Town, the pre-fab singing groups cooked up for "Popstars" and "Making the Band," respectively, vanished. Dat Phan , last summer's "Last Comic Standing" winner, signed a talent deal with NBC, which seems to be the Hollywood equivalent of going into Witness Protection. Bill Rancic seems to be spending more time appearing on the second season of "The Apprentice" than he is doing the job he won at the end of the first.
Every now and then, you'll find a Clay Aiken or a Fantasia , someone who connects with an audience and wouldn't have succeeded through normal channels, but the next time you see a reality show promising to find a budding superstar, you shouldn't bet your life -- or your time -- that they'll succeed.
--Alan Sepinwall Got a TV-related question or comment? E-mail us at alltv@starledger.com or write to All TV, 1 Star-Ledger Plaza, Newark, NJ 07102. You must include your full name and hometown. Personal replies are not possible.
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
EXHIBIT Q in the ongoing case against reality television as an efficient method of unearthing undiscovered talent: "Bet Your Life," a cheap, leaden shoot-'em-up starring the two "winners" of NBC's "Next Action Star."
If your life was somehow too full to accommodate "Next Action Star" into your summer, you were not alone. The ratings were so low that NBC actually skipped an episode near the end, just to get the thing off the schedule as quickly as possible. But since the grand prize included a starring role in a TV-movie produced by action mogul Joel Silver , NBC had no choice but to air it. (Summarizing it on their Web site, a la Fox's handling of "Playing It Straight," wouldn't have worked, but what about streaming video?)
"Next Action Star" put the would-be heirs to the thrones of Arnold, Sly and, uh, Cynthia Rothrock through lessons in martial arts; stunt work; even, shockingly enough, acting. But the show seemed to fundamentally misunderstand what makes a true action star, which is bizarre, since Silver also was a producer on the series and one of the minds behind the "Lethal Weapon," "Die Hard" and "Matrix" franchises.
Sure, it helps to be built like a Roman statue or know how to execute a perfect flying spin kick, but the greats all bring more to the table. Schwarzenegger had that Teutonic arrogance, not to mention his way with campy kiss-off lines. Mel Gibson and Bruce Willis added wisecracking vulnerability to their "Lethal Weapon" and "Die Hard" heroes. And the recent success of unlikely action heroes like Keanu Reeves and Matt Damon has suggested that while you can't necessarily teach fighters to act (see Steven Seagal or Jeff Speakman ), you can teach actors to fight.
Sean Carrigan and Corinne van Ryck de Groot , the two "Next Action Star" champs, are both ex-boxers and impressive physical specimens, but both struggle mightily through most of "Bet Your Life."
A cynical updating of Richard Edward Connell's "Most Dangerous Game," it stars Carrigan as Sonny, a disgraced former quarterback who drives a limo in Vegas while fighting a gambling addiction. (We can tell he's an addict because he tells us so in the opening narration, and because his dialogue is peppered with lines like "Don't bet on it," "That's a sucker's bet if I ever saw one" and "Want to bet on it?")
On the run from a loan shark's enforcer (Van Ryck de Groot, looking like a harder-edged, leather-clad Tracy Pollan ), he stumbles into an exclusive casino, where a wealthy sociopath named Joseph invites him to participate in a human foxhunt. If Sonny is still alive after 24 hours of being chased, choked and shot at by Joseph and his goons, he wins $2.4 million bucks.
Carrigan and van Ryck de Groot don't embarrass themselves, but they don't distinguish themselves, either. Nothing they do, from the fights to the stunts to the banter, makes any real impression at all. And Silver has done them no favors by casting Billy Zane as Joseph, since he outclasses them in every area, from the casual but authoritative way he handles weapons to the way the cheesy dialogue drips out of his grinning mouth.
Now, this isn't like being out-acted by Damon or out-fought by Jean Claude Van Damme. This is Billy Zane, the guy who, if you remember at all, you remember for uttering the worst line of dialogue ever featured in an Oscar winner for Best Picture. (Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, courtesy of "Titanic": "What's his name, Picasso? He'll never amount to anything!")
Zane's career as a big-screen leading man effectively began and ended with 1996's "The Phantom," and now he stars in stuff like "Silent Warnings" and "Invincible" that goes straight to DVD or cable. If the "Next Action Star" winners can't hold their own against him, what right do they have to those titles? "Next Action Henchmen," maybe?
The stars' failure to live up to their billing shouldn't come as a surprise. The reality show talent search boom hasn't produced many promising careers at this stage.
"Project Greenlight" produced great TV shows and awful movies. Eden's Crush and O-Town, the pre-fab singing groups cooked up for "Popstars" and "Making the Band," respectively, vanished. Dat Phan , last summer's "Last Comic Standing" winner, signed a talent deal with NBC, which seems to be the Hollywood equivalent of going into Witness Protection. Bill Rancic seems to be spending more time appearing on the second season of "The Apprentice" than he is doing the job he won at the end of the first.
Every now and then, you'll find a Clay Aiken or a Fantasia , someone who connects with an audience and wouldn't have succeeded through normal channels, but the next time you see a reality show promising to find a budding superstar, you shouldn't bet your life -- or your time -- that they'll succeed.
--Alan Sepinwall Got a TV-related question or comment? E-mail us at alltv@starledger.com or write to All TV, 1 Star-Ledger Plaza, Newark, NJ 07102. You must include your full name and hometown. Personal replies are not possible.
