Funny threads from the imdb message boards


New Member
A couple of people there started up a thread on the message boards for Above The Law and Out For Justice called "Things I learned from watching..."
and it is some of the funniest stuff I've ever read, and us fans would really get a kick out of it.. here are a few excerpts :)

Things I learned from "Out for Justice:
1. There is never anybody upstairs in a bar
2. If you've got the balls, Ritchie'll give you the bread
3. Gino is fair game
4. Never complain about losing some of your teeth, or you'll lose the rest
1. It is correct protocol for american police officers to simply demand a shotgun and an unmarked car when hunting dangerous drug crazed fatties.
2. Middle aged japanese men hang around in dodgy Italian pool halls.
3. If you know aikido then you are immortal.
4. There are such things as "disposable" knives and scissors, which means your knife sharpening father will out of a job.
5. If your a pimp it's quite possible to be mistaken for someone who has fallen of a turnip truck.
6. Pimps can't harm women, even after punching them 5 or six times, they'll be fine.
7. If your an arrogant cocky prick then people will be willing to help.
8. If Seagal kicks you in the balls, you die.
9. Smoking crack makes you a terrible fighter.
10. If you see someone stealing sweets then its ok to beat them up, lock them in the trunk of your car, then go and watch a film at the cinema.

Things I learned from Above the Law:

11) "A guy at Princeton" has a bigger database than the CIA.

12) Police officers give Nico their police-issued pistol when his police-issued pistol has been taken away, even though Nico has bags of weapons.

13) Morally upright police officers are more than happy to destroy shop windows for the sake of an interesting scene outside.

14) Trained assassins use the same weapons that third-world guerillas living below the poverty line use. They also wear suits while on the job.
1) I may think i'm above the law, but i'm not above nico's law. His law is one floor above mines.

2) Cops and gangster's both love a good barbeque

3) Nelson Fox is a pretty decent porn name

4) Sharon Stone's pre-basic instinct body looks pretty hot and innocent

5) Stay in school, and stay off drugs, or nico will find you and write you another note

6) I too have seen the top of her head

7) Nothing beats a chevy engine block to hide some C-4

8) If your Boss asks you for your gun and your badge, it's okay, your partner will gladly lend you his

9) Henry Silva, "Best villain" award associated with hypodermic needles