Amos Stevens
New Member
Mothers in Iraq
Have you noticed anything fishy about the inspection
teams who have arrived in Iraq? They're all men!
How in the name of the United Nations does anyone
expect men to find Saddam's stash of weapons?
We all know that men have a blind spot when it comes
to finding things. For goodness sake! Men can't find
the dirty clothes hamper, unless they trip over it.
Men can't find the peanut butter in the kitchen
cupboard unless it happens to fall out and knock the
TV remote from their hand... and these are the people
we have sent into Iraq to search for hidden weapons of
mass destruction?
I keep wondering why groups of mothers weren't sent
in. Mothers can sniff out secrets quicker than a drug
dog can find a gram of dope.
Mothers can tell when the lid of a cookie jar has been
disturbed and notice when a quarter inch slice has
been shaved off a chocolate cake. By examining
laundry, a mother knows more about their kids than
Sherlock Holmes.
And if a mother wants an answer to question, she can
read an offender's eyes quicker than a homicide
detective.
So... considering the value a mother could bring to an
inspection team, why are we sending a bunch of old men
who will rely on electronic equipment to scout out
hidden threats?
My mother would walk in with a wooden soup spoon in
one hand, grab Saddam by the ear, give it a good twist
and snap, "Young man, do you have any weapons of mass
destruction?"
And may God have mercy if he tried to lie to her.
She'd march him down the street to some secret bunker
and shove his nose into a nuclear bomb and say, "Uh,
huh, and what do you call this, mister?"
Whap! Thump! Whap! Whap! Whap!
And she'd lay some stripes across his bottom with that
soup spoon, then march him home in front of the whole
of the country. He'd not only come clean and
apologize for lying about it, he'd cut every lawn in
Baghdad for free for the whole summer.
Inspectors my eye... You want the job done?
Call my mother.
Have you noticed anything fishy about the inspection
teams who have arrived in Iraq? They're all men!
How in the name of the United Nations does anyone
expect men to find Saddam's stash of weapons?
We all know that men have a blind spot when it comes
to finding things. For goodness sake! Men can't find
the dirty clothes hamper, unless they trip over it.
Men can't find the peanut butter in the kitchen
cupboard unless it happens to fall out and knock the
TV remote from their hand... and these are the people
we have sent into Iraq to search for hidden weapons of
mass destruction?
I keep wondering why groups of mothers weren't sent
in. Mothers can sniff out secrets quicker than a drug
dog can find a gram of dope.
Mothers can tell when the lid of a cookie jar has been
disturbed and notice when a quarter inch slice has
been shaved off a chocolate cake. By examining
laundry, a mother knows more about their kids than
Sherlock Holmes.
And if a mother wants an answer to question, she can
read an offender's eyes quicker than a homicide
detective.
So... considering the value a mother could bring to an
inspection team, why are we sending a bunch of old men
who will rely on electronic equipment to scout out
hidden threats?
My mother would walk in with a wooden soup spoon in
one hand, grab Saddam by the ear, give it a good twist
and snap, "Young man, do you have any weapons of mass
destruction?"
And may God have mercy if he tried to lie to her.
She'd march him down the street to some secret bunker
and shove his nose into a nuclear bomb and say, "Uh,
huh, and what do you call this, mister?"
Whap! Thump! Whap! Whap! Whap!
And she'd lay some stripes across his bottom with that
soup spoon, then march him home in front of the whole
of the country. He'd not only come clean and
apologize for lying about it, he'd cut every lawn in
Baghdad for free for the whole summer.
Inspectors my eye... You want the job done?
Call my mother.
