DIY Disasters
- Thread starter pat jack
- Start date
kickingbird
candle lighter
DIY? ... putting together one of those cheap metal shelving units with 500 nuts and bolts that you have to connect by hand ... the thing is very interesting - sort of like the leaning tower of Pisa. I still have another one in the box where it will probably stay until heck freezes over.
Tip for painting ceilings: if you wear glasses, don't.
Tip for patching old lathe and plaster walls: forget it - hang a picture there instead.
Tip for hooking up a new tv, combo DVD and VHS recorder using "monster cables" ... allow at least two days and have someone hold a flashlight while you stand on your head ... oh, yes - if you also must hook up a cable tv line be sure to have the cable guy run enough coaxle to reach the tv where you want it to be.
Tip for planting tomatoes in April in Kansas: don't. It has frosted every night for a week and will again tonight. Neighbors thing I'm raising sheets instead of peonies and roses, and bait buckets instead of tomatoes.
Tip for painting ceilings: if you wear glasses, don't.
Tip for patching old lathe and plaster walls: forget it - hang a picture there instead.
Tip for hooking up a new tv, combo DVD and VHS recorder using "monster cables" ... allow at least two days and have someone hold a flashlight while you stand on your head ... oh, yes - if you also must hook up a cable tv line be sure to have the cable guy run enough coaxle to reach the tv where you want it to be.
Tip for planting tomatoes in April in Kansas: don't. It has frosted every night for a week and will again tonight. Neighbors thing I'm raising sheets instead of peonies and roses, and bait buckets instead of tomatoes.
Raising sheets and bait buckets. kickingbird
candle lighter
Serena- guess this is the "voice of experience" ... there are lots of other DIY "incidents" I'll try to share. I've always puttered around the house and yard and have learned a bit over the years - mostly: don't do anything you don't have to do, and secondly, if the neighbors can't see it, don't fix it. Here's a few more:
Tip for replacing glass panel in a 70-year-old garage window: since I work for a publishing company I have access to discarded vinyl coated book covers - cut it to size, glaze it in, and paint it white like the rest of the glass to keep nosy eyes out. Can't tell that there's no "real" glass. Any vinyl [waterproof] board will work. BTW, it also fools the city "code compliance cops"
Tip for putting together anything from a carton: be sure the instructions are written by someone who speaks English [if you speak English of course] because I've found people unfamiliar with the language will have you building something that doesn't look at all like the item you purchased.
Tip for cleaning the deck of a second-story porch - drag the water hose around, be sure you have enough hose, then wrangle it into a nice loop and toss it up onto the porch [don't turn the water on yet!] ... the neighbors will think you're practicing for the roof-roping contest at the county fair.
Tip for doing ceiling work in a room with an 7-foot ceiling: don't use an 8-foot step ladder.
Tip for washing old pillows with loose stitching - forget it ... unless you want to spend half an hour cleaning feathers out of the washing machine.
Tip for painting those strips of wood for a metal rocker chair - they already have pre-drilled holes - simply hang them on nails on a horizontal piece of wood and paint or varnish all sides. The key is, of course, not to bend forward to pick up the paint brush when your head is in line with the big nails holding the strips of wood and "hammering" the nail with your forehead ...
Tip for feeding the kids after a hard days work and realizing you're flat broke and the only thing in the cupboard is pizza mix, tuna, and lima beans. They didn't like it much, and still refuse to eat pizza here.
Tip for replacing bathroom fixture faucets - make sure your faucets are "universal", or the new replacement will "work" but it keeps turning forever - there's no "off" stop, just a point where the water doesn't come out anymore and a point when it does. Not sure what universe the company that designed the universal replacements is in.
Tip for replacing glass panel in a 70-year-old garage window: since I work for a publishing company I have access to discarded vinyl coated book covers - cut it to size, glaze it in, and paint it white like the rest of the glass to keep nosy eyes out. Can't tell that there's no "real" glass. Any vinyl [waterproof] board will work. BTW, it also fools the city "code compliance cops"
Tip for putting together anything from a carton: be sure the instructions are written by someone who speaks English [if you speak English of course] because I've found people unfamiliar with the language will have you building something that doesn't look at all like the item you purchased.
Tip for cleaning the deck of a second-story porch - drag the water hose around, be sure you have enough hose, then wrangle it into a nice loop and toss it up onto the porch [don't turn the water on yet!] ... the neighbors will think you're practicing for the roof-roping contest at the county fair.
Tip for doing ceiling work in a room with an 7-foot ceiling: don't use an 8-foot step ladder.
Tip for washing old pillows with loose stitching - forget it ... unless you want to spend half an hour cleaning feathers out of the washing machine.
Tip for painting those strips of wood for a metal rocker chair - they already have pre-drilled holes - simply hang them on nails on a horizontal piece of wood and paint or varnish all sides. The key is, of course, not to bend forward to pick up the paint brush when your head is in line with the big nails holding the strips of wood and "hammering" the nail with your forehead ...
Tip for feeding the kids after a hard days work and realizing you're flat broke and the only thing in the cupboard is pizza mix, tuna, and lima beans. They didn't like it much, and still refuse to eat pizza here.
Tip for replacing bathroom fixture faucets - make sure your faucets are "universal", or the new replacement will "work" but it keeps turning forever - there's no "off" stop, just a point where the water doesn't come out anymore and a point when it does. Not sure what universe the company that designed the universal replacements is in.
HAHA! HAHA!Kickingbird, these are TOOO funny!
I remember one of the first posts I read about you, shortly after I joined, you were up patching your roof, crawling through a window, or something like that! Did I remember that correctly? I was amazed then. LOL And these are some of the most amusing things I've read--and do indeed sound like the voice of experience--or maybe inexperience.
You should think of entering these in a magazine or something, Kickingbird! I'm sure there are many, many people who, as I did, would laugh out loud through the whole list, shaking their heads, and saying oh yes!, been there, done that, or would just enjoy knowing they're not the only one who's had a few "mishaps" around the house. :indiffereCan't even say I have favorites, as they're all funny, but some I especially liked: If the neighbors can't see it, don't fix it (been there, done that
), don't turn the water on yet 'til the hose is on the second story deck , washing old pillows 
, pizza for the kids (yuck!), the faucets. 
Amos Stevens
New Member
Naw....NEVER have ANY problems of things NOT going right
Who needs stinking instructions-it's better to look at the picture & follow that! And a very easy rule to follow..if it's possible to go wrong..it will!
Who needs stinking instructions-it's better to look at the picture & follow that! And a very easy rule to follow..if it's possible to go wrong..it will!
kickingbird
candle lighter
Amos-
Look at the picture & follow that! ... except the picture was in Chinese
Serena- yes, that was me crawling out the upstairs window onto the first floor roof to patch it. I hate climbing anything over two steps tall. Roof still leaks though ... probably because there's a HOLE in the decking from when the tree people cut down a tree and dropped an 800 lb chuck of branch onto it ... only I didn't really notice it until recently and of course the tree people won't "claim" it because it's been several years ago. If I report it to my home insurance they'll probably pay but then will either jack the rates up or cancel it [Catch 22]. Will probably have to take that risk and get it fixed, but then again, it is always interesting to see exactly where the next leak will be. That's where I'll put houseplants to catch the drips ...
Look at the picture & follow that! ... except the picture was in Chinese
Serena- yes, that was me crawling out the upstairs window onto the first floor roof to patch it. I hate climbing anything over two steps tall. Roof still leaks though ... probably because there's a HOLE in the decking from when the tree people cut down a tree and dropped an 800 lb chuck of branch onto it ... only I didn't really notice it until recently and of course the tree people won't "claim" it because it's been several years ago. If I report it to my home insurance they'll probably pay but then will either jack the rates up or cancel it [Catch 22]. Will probably have to take that risk and get it fixed, but then again, it is always interesting to see exactly where the next leak will be. That's where I'll put houseplants to catch the drips ...