Just finishing watching Season 3.
It's laughter out loud all over the place!
Beginning of "The Good Samaritan" (if you're not familiar, just read the whole excerpt below... it's just the best show!)
JERRY: Oh my God! You won't believe what I just saw! A car just bashed into a parked car, and sped off, right on my block!
ELAINE: You gotta follow that car!
JERRY: What?
ELAINE: You can't let him get away with that!
JERRY: Elaine, the guy could be dangerous.
ELAINE: What are you, yellow?
JERRY: I'm not yella. (In a cowboy voice)
ELAINE: Jerry, if you don't follow him, you're yella.
JERRY: Wait, he stopped, he's parking.
ELAINE: What? What? I can't hear you. Jerry?
[Scene moves outside where Jerry get out of his car to confront other driver, who as they come out of their car, is an attractive woman]
JERRY: Uh, excuse me, uh, I was uh, driving behind you, uh, a few blocks back, and I, I couldn't help, uh, maybe you didn't realize, uh, I witnessed that, uh, um, you're tire's a little low. That can affect the performance of the twin high-beam suspension, not to mention your rack and pinion steering.
(They both smile flirtatiously at each other)
[Scene moves to Jerry's apartment where Jerry and George are talking by the table]
JERRY: So I wound up going out for a decaf cappuccino with her.
GEORGE: Boy! What a story! I'm speechless. Speechless. I have no speech.
...
(Intercom buzzes, Jerry presses the button)
JERRY: Yep.
ELAINE: It's me!
JERRY: Come on up.
(Jerry unlocks and opens door)
JERRY: By the way, Elaine does not need to know about anything.
GEORGE: Hey, hey, hey! I dig.
(George walks into kitchen and opens cupboard to get cups)
JERRY: Oh, you dig?
GEORGE: Yes! I see enormous potential here.
JERRY: Why?
(George pours two cups of milk)
GEORGE: Because great couples always have a great story about how they met. That's why I've never been in a long term relationship. I've never had a good meeting story.
JERRY: I wonder if I'm nuts for pursuing this woman at all.
GEORGE: I don't think so.
JERRY: Look, she slammed into a parked car! She took no responsibility for mutilating the property of a stranger, then she sped off like a criminal!
(Jerry takes a drink of his milk while both remain silent)
JERRY: On the other hand, does that mean she should never be allowed to date again? You scratch one car and you're forbidden to have social contact for the rest of your life?!
(Jerry looks at his cup in disgust)
JERRY: What am I drinking, milk?
(Elaine enters, hanging up her jacket)
ELAINE: Hey!
JERRY: Hi.
(Elaine tosses a sweater to Jerry)
ELAINE: Sweater.
JERRY: Thank you.
ELAINE: So? What happened?
(Jerry starts walking away)
JERRY: With that?
ELAINE: With the car!
JERRY: What car?
ELAINE: The hit and run!
JERRY: Oh, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, the hit and run. Well. Actually, the guy went into Queens.
ELAINE: Queens?! You followed him over the bridge?
JERRY: Over the bridge. (Making a pointing motion with his hand)
(George walks out of the kitchen)
GEORGE: Oh, well I didn't know you went into Queens Jerry.
JERRY: Yeah, Queens.
ELAINE: So? Then what?
JERRY: So he gets out of the car, I say, "Hey buddy! I saw you hit that car!" So he says to me, "What are ya gonna do about it?"
(Elaine gasps)
JERRY: So I said to him, "Whatever's necessary."
(Elaine stutters with her mouth open in amazement)
ELAINE: I am speechless. I am without speech.
GEORGE: Tell her about the shoving.
JERRY: What?
(George smiles pointing at him)
ELAINE: What shoving?!
JERRY: Oh, it was nothing.
GEORGE: No! Tell her.
(Jerry looks at George with a grin)
JERRY: Well he kinda lost his temper, and he was pushing me up against the car. So I went into a karate stance.
(Jerry assumes karate position and does two punches)
ELAINE: You know karate??
JERRY: I know a little.
ELAINE: Well, this is so, amazing to me! Jerry what did do?
JERRY: He backed off. Pretty pathetic actually.
(Kramer enters)
KRAMER: Hey! (Group does likewise)
ELAINE: Did you tell Kramer?
JERRY: Ah, nah! (Waving his hand and walking away)
KRAMER: What? What? What? Tell me.
ELAINE: Jerry saw this guy crash into a car, and he followed him.
(Jerry looks at Kramer and raises both his arms smiling)
KRAMER: Good for you! What kind of a sick lowlife would do a thing like that? You know those people, you know they're mentally disturbed. (Pointing a finger at Jerry)
KRAMER: They should be sent to Australia.
(Jerry has a confused look)
JERRY: Australia?
KRAMER: Yeah, yeah, that's where England used to send their convicts.
JERRY: But not anymore.
KRAMER: No?
... (end of intro part)