Your Thoughts On Seagal's Recent Characters

[GlimmerMan]

Aye, I understand.

Die eier von Satan
Eine halbe tasse staubzucker
Ein viertel teelvffel salz
Eine messerspitze t|rkisches haschisch
Ein halbes pfund butter
Ein teelvffel vanillenzucker
Ein halbes pfund mehl
Einhundertf|nfzig gramm gemahlene n|sse
Ein wenig echter staubzucker
... und keine eier
In eine sch|ssel geben
Butter einr|hren
Gemahlene n|sse zugeben und
Den teig verkneten
Augenballgro_e st|cke vom teig formen
Im staubzucker wdlzen und
Sagt die zauberwvrter
Simsalbimbamba saladu saladim
Auf ein gefettetes backblech legen und
Bei zweihundert grad f|r f|nfzehn minuten backen und
Keine eier
Bei zweihundert grad f|r f|nfzehn minuten backen und
Keine eier...

GlimmerMan

 

[scotch.on.the.rocks]

You always thinking about food, mate?

No wonder they call you the Glimmer Man...

 

[hofmae]

Aye, I understand.

Die eier von Satan
Eine halbe tasse staubzucker
Ein viertel teelvffel salz
Eine messerspitze t|rkisches haschisch
Ein halbes pfund butter
Ein teelvffel vanillenzucker
Ein halbes pfund mehl
Einhundertf|nfzig gramm gemahlene n|sse
Ein wenig echter staubzucker
... und keine eier
In eine sch|ssel geben
Butter einr|hren
Gemahlene n|sse zugeben und
Den teig verkneten
Augenballgro_e st|cke vom teig formen
Im staubzucker wdlzen und
Sagt die zauberwvrter
Simsalbimbamba saladu saladim
Auf ein gefettetes backblech legen und
Bei zweihundert grad f|r f|nfzehn minuten backen und
Keine eier
Bei zweihundert grad f|r f|nfzehn minuten backen und
Keine eier...

GlimmerMan

Oh my God what the ****ing hell are you talking about

 

[hofmae]

Tja, ich habe ein paar Freunde hier und dort in deutschsprachigen Laendern, was kann ich dafuer!

Und hier kommt der versprochene - obwohl auch etwas bloedsinnige! - Witz:

Zwei Schwalben fliegen eines Tages durch die frische Luft des Zuericher Morgens.

Auf einmal bemerken die beide einen Duesenjaeger vorbeizischen.

"Donnerwetter, ist der schnell!" meint die eine etwas neidisch.

"Na ja, kein Wunder, wenn ihm der Hintern brennt!" fuegt die andere philosophisch hinzu...

Sagenhafter Witz

 

[Amos Stevens]

Psppppppppp translations please

 

[Prisoner 1137]

For reals.

 

[lmorgan102556]

for realllllllllllllllllllllll please..............

 

[hofmae]

scotch.on.the.rocks wrote a joke in german, but its sooo bad, that i don't spend time to translate it

 

[GlimmerMan]

Vorsprung durch Teknik.

 

[scotch.on.the.rocks]

Yes, it was just a silly joke:

Two swallows are flying over the city of Zurich, when all of a sudden they notice a jet airplane flying by at high speed.

One of them says a bit envious:

"Holy crap, was that fast or what?"

The other on replies philosophically:

"Well, it's understandable, since its ass is on fire..."

 

[scotch.on.the.rocks]

And here's another one, still about birds.

An old lady gets a parrot as a birthday present one time, but this was a mischievous bird and had a pretty dirty language. So she thinks about it, what the heck to be done, right? Finally she decides to pay the priest of the community a little visit. So she takes the bloody parrot and goes to him, explaining everything. The priest ponders about it and after a while says: “You know, I think you should bring the bird in some higher quality society, near some better educated birdie!”, suggesting they should place the dirty scoundrel near his own parrot (which was a girl, of course! ), adding: “She’s a real pious bird, you know, she really prays a lot! I think it’ll be good for him!” Said and done. They bring the cages together and place them next to one another on a table in a spacious room, right in front of the window, then hide behind the drapes so they could watch from there whatever the hell was going to happen next without being perceived by the birds. The bratty parrot sees the girl, gets a hard on right on the spot and says to her: “Hey, baby! You think I could jump your bones a wee bit or what?” To which she replies in a flash, to the amazement of the two behind the curtain: “Hell yeah! What the heck d’you think I’ve been praying for all this time!”

 

[Amos Stevens]

Oh ok-thanks for the translations..we do have a joke/laughter thread under off topic..ofcourse they are suppose to be good jokes

 

[Littledragon]

yeah i guess sometimes i do get sick of it, but at the same time i kinda like it you always know he has a history of special op's or something like that u always knows he's good

i wouldnt mind seeing him play a role of a martial arts sensei in a movie that would be awesome

I would love to see Seagal play a martial arts sensei, that is something I have always wanted to see Seagal play. That is my dream role for him.

 

[Amos Stevens]

Martial Arts Sensei sounds like an excellent idea...TD can be one of his students in the movie

 

[GlimmerMan]

Littledragon - that's a cool idea, and I don't know why it hasn't really been elaborated on in the Seagal movies. I mean - we see clips of him teaching Aikido at the beginning of Above The Law, but he could maybe do a movie about being a peace-loving martial arts teacher, whose students all excel under his teachings. His dojo could be attacked and trashed by jealous students from another school when he goes away on business & leaves his 2nd in command in charge. When he gets back and finds his dojo destroyed and his students beaten senseless he could find out who did it and then take them on in their own dojo! The fight sequence near the end of Kiss Of The Dragon where Jet Li takes on the martial arts students in the dojo is awesome, and if Jet Li can do it, then so can Seagal.

 

[Littledragon]

Littledragon - that's a cool idea, and I don't know why it hasn't really been elaborated on in the Seagal movies. I mean - we see clips of him teaching Aikido at the beginning of Above The Law, but he could maybe do a movie about being a peace-loving martial arts teacher, whose students all excel under his teachings. His dojo could be attacked and trashed by jealous students from another school when he goes away on business & leaves his 2nd in command in charge. When he gets back and finds his dojo destroyed and his students beaten senseless he could find out who did it and then take them on in their own dojo! The fight sequence near the end of Kiss Of The Dragon where Jet Li takes on the martial arts students in the dojo is awesome, and if Jet Li can do it, then so can Seagal.

That would be incredible wouldn't it. I would love to see Seagal in a dojo taking out a whole bunch of martial art challengers, but I am afraid in the shape he is in now and his age that will never happen. I almost regret saying this but I doubt we are going to see any more good action fight scenes from Seagal..

 

[GlimmerMan]

I agree dude. Sad but true.