Other Inaction man after a career boost !!

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Films
May 01, 2003

Inaction man after a career boost

By Sean Macaulay
Profile: He came, he saw, he conked out - and that's Steven Seagal's career, more or less. Not that you'd guess from his website



WAS THERE EVER a more bone-headed self-regarding action star in the history of the movies than Steven Seagal, whose new movie, Half-Past Dead, is reviewed on page 12? He emerged at the tail end of the 1980s in the slipstream of the slipstream of action stars such as Arnie Schwarzenegger and Sly Stallone — that is, chasing lesser action stars like Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme. But even these stars boasted distinguishing features: Norris had a roundhouse kick and Van Damme had a leg split kick. All Seagal could offer was monosyllabic whispers and a ponytail.
But it didn’t matter, for his distinguishing feature was a hilariously unwavering self-assurance. Even after a string of flops and a general slide into low-budget B-movie hell, he remains undaunted. His website is a font of propaganda to make an Iraqi information minister blush. It describes him as “the 7th degree black belt Aikido master, the Movie Star, the Musician, the Buddhist Practitioner and Humanitarian”. Seagal, his cyber shrine tells us, is “the most overwhelmingly popular film star in recent motion picture history”. His last starring film, The Foreigner, went straight to video in America. Above the Law, Seagal’s starring debut in 1988, is hailed as “a stunning first effort”. The verdict of Halliwell’s Film Guide is “woodenly acted”.

As for Seagal’s music career, “in the US and internationally, audience reaction leaves no doubt that he is a consummate musician and performer”. Seagal and his acoustic guitar once received a Raspberry Award nomination for Worst Screen Couple.

Onscreen, his impregnable persona is nearly always humourless. A mild, slightly bored squint is his face in repose as he waits for the bad guys to finish their threats before he gets on with dispensing justice. A mild, slightly less bored squint is his face as he courts the single mother/tragically young widow/wholesome woman in peril. The introduction of romantic sub-plots was a belated attempt in the 1990s to widen Seagal’s appeal.

He got his start in police thrillers with anti-establishment attitude and occasional ethnic colouring. He played maverick “go-it-alone” cops with names like Nico Toscani and Mason Storm, silent, forbidding men who could disarm whole drug cartels armed only with a ponytail and the mysteries of the East. But the attempt to humanise Seagal was a miscalculation, and not just because of his vow-of-poverty acting style. Like most tough guys in simple-minded action fantasies, Seagal’s constituency is mostly adolescent males. He appeals to them because he is physically invulnerable but also because he has no obligation to show emotion. He is simply too cool to have to show he cares.

In his prime, Seagal took this undemonstrativeness to Zen-like heights. He became too cool to show he was alive. Such stoicism, when allied to his absurd physical prowess, becomes something close to comic genius. If Seagal wants to revitalise his career, he could do worse than become the deadpan heir to Leslie Nielsen’s sublimely hapless detective Lieutenant Frank Drebin in the Naked Gun comedies. It is impressive how Seagal keeps a straight face, especially in his latter films, where he moves slowly or not at all, and yet is still depicted as being capable of terrorising an alley full of goons with a few raspy threats.

Seagal did enter unique territory when he paired his violent on-screen image with his lifelong quest for enlightenment. He was an early student of Eastern culture, settling in Japan in his late teens to teach martial arts. Despite his gun collection and a track record of impregnating women he’s not currently married to, this spiritual quest led him in 1997 to be anointed as a Tulku. As an honour, it is a little bit more than the honorary Oscar of Buddhism. The Tulku is considered to be a reincarnation of a Buddhist master — a 15th-century Tibetan lama in Seagal’s case — who vows to take rebirth out of compassion for the suffering of sentient beings.

After the surprise success of Under Siege in 1992, in which he played a navy cook who outwits some terrorists, Seagal was able to demonstrate this compassion by starring, producing and directing one of his dream projects, On Deadly Ground. It was a newly minted genre to fit in with his karmic belief in the eco-action movie (his website prefers the term “environmental epic”). Seagal plays the same violent, stoic hero as before — “he’s the kinda guy that’ll drink a gallon of gasoline just to p*** on your campfire” — but now he was helping Indians fight off an oil company.

This film was a colossal failure but Seagal persisted with his experiment, releasing Fire Down Below, in which he played a hard-hitting environmental protection agent, and The Patriot, in which he played a doctor battling a biological virus. Instead of an action climax, The Patriot featured army helicopters dropping life-saving wild flowers on to the gasping, poisoned locals. Again the box-office result was dismal.

Demonstrating the challenge of catering to bloodthirsty adolescent males while simultaneously preaching the values of tree-hugging, the eco-action genre means a hero who brutally stomps a racist bully and then holds back from delivering the final punch to inquire: “What does it take to change the essence of a man?” It also means the bully knows the answer: “Time.”

As the new millennium began, the biggest problem for Seagal was not his compassion or even his age (he turned 50 in 2001), it was his weight. Warner Brothers came up with a way to reinvent his career, putting him in gangsta thrillers surrounded by young black actors, but the studio would only hire him on condition that he lost weight. The target was 50lb — judging by the final product, Exit Wound, 30lb was as far as he got. But being held as the most out-of-shape action star in the world offers no worries to Seagal. He is hoping, he says, “to be known as a great writer and actor someday, rather than a sex symbol”. Not in this life.
************** :mad:
 

kokoro

Protector
Thanks Suzi.

Nothing new, just regurgitated stories that some "writer" has read and spewd out in his own fashion. I would say helicopter fashion.

The 6th paragraph seemed to be the only time the "writer" spoke with any reason or thought.

ahh well:rolleyes:
 

GlimmerMan

Huge Member
That is some of the funniest sh*t I have ever read! Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! Before you all go getting your knickers in a twist about it, read it with a ironic smile on your face like I did!

Glimmer (time for a cup of rosie!)
 

Lotussan

I Belong To Steven
Same old thang, can we please get some originality? They have nerve to say that he will not be a great writer in this life, but does the guy that wrote this think he is? Pulleesse...
Here I go.....Number one, the whispers and the ponytail are utterly charming in my opinion....:D Number two, the SO CALLED self-assured attitude is underrated and rare these days, I for one admire his strong spirit and wish I had some of that, it's called inner confindence! Number three, I love his music that's all a matter of opinion, unless this guy is an accomplish guitaurist and song writer he can't talk! Number four, action actors are doing action, not comedy, why should he try to be funny in an action role? Number five, he states "He is simply too cool " this is very true, the best statement in this whole article! :) Number six, yes he's compassionate and a humanitarian buddhist, the movies are just movies......He is a wonderful man in my eyes, this article means nothing to me....I love you Sensei! I think you are the greatest!
 

tora

Funmaker
Well,Glimmer,I hope you can see my ironic smile.These articles only make me wanna laugh.
 

mikek7316

Engorged Member
That is so negative. Seagal is a sex symbol, and On Deadly Ground was indeed an environmental epic. That "reporter" needs to be more positive... hmmm, maybe the spiritual art of Aikido will help the reporter do so.
 

suziwong

Administrator
Staff member
I agree with you mikek !!

and again I agree with you he is exactly sex symbol and he is sooooooooo sexy !!

in oneness
 

GlimmerMan

Huge Member
Maybe if Seagal demonstrates some Aikido on the reporter's windpipe then he might gain some respect. Seriously - that article is nothing more than a load of self-indulgent sh*te. Lotus - I commend your defence of Seagal - fu*k the press! Hahaha! Half Past Dead opened here today to crap reviews (as was expected). Going to see it tomorrow night.

Glimmer
 

MARCOS D

New Member
Hi friends,

I've been on holiday for a while, it's great to be back on the board with ya all. reading this journo's comments, I been thinking what Steven (his oneness) needs to do to earn full critical acceptance is to perhaps make an epic Western.

Imagine it, kind of 'Dances with Wolves' or 'Unforgiven', epic with a classic Seagal message to it. Westerns always stand as classics and never date, I think this should be his next move, he would still be able to get some of his action in their too. Perhaps he could be educating the Native Americans in martial arts, and perhaps cookery too. perhaps it could be called 'Sprinting with Buffalo' or something along those lines. for once he should drop all the big guns, rapper co stars and big explosions and go for an authentic historical Western story that will show his acting, directing and writing skills off fully.

Steven has established himself as the cinema's greatest action star of all time, I think he could do the same in the Western genre, and I think a Western would be a smart move for him commercially and critically, just as long as he makes Under Siege 3 & 4 first though and I'll be happy. Hope you're reading this Steven. and don't forget, get your pies out the oven...


:) Marcos D
 

Lotussan

I Belong To Steven
I think he's a great actor...And I am sure he can write very well too....:) That article was ridiculous, as usual seaking of The Patriot TD, I am off to watch it again, right now ....Oh, Dr. Wesley I do declare, you are fine, fine man....;) :D ;)
 

Storm

Smile dammit!
He certainly brings out the worst in the critics. Mind you, he has a point at the sanctimonious claims of the official site. It tries to portray him as a God like figure but he, like i is just a man.
 

kickingbird

candle lighter
Oh the irony! :D
Seriously, Steven seems to be a sh it magnet when it comes to the "critics" ... but WE all know better! Stuff like that is written by silly little twits who are just jealous.
"Nobody beat us in the kitchen!" :)
In Oneness and Peace
 

suziwong

Administrator
Staff member
You are right !!

STEVEN IS THE BEST !! Everybody will learn it soon !! I believe this !!

in oneness
 

Lotussan

I Belong To Steven
Yes, Suzi!!! I think he's the VERY best! I hope that since his site is down (maybe for good, now...:() that he maybe, just maybe he will come here from time to time to read this board....Sensei, I love you sooooo much....
 

suziwong

Administrator
Staff member
Lotus I am sure he is coming and read !!
He would know this : He is very SPECIAL, he is very EXTRAORDINARY and he is THE BEST !!
We love you Steven !!

in oneness
 

Lotussan

I Belong To Steven
Yes, Suzi...

There is only one man like him, he is such a wonderful and unique person...Kinda makes you wish that he was triplets, eh? I am totally just kidding...He's like no other though, and that's simply marvelous...But I can't help wanting him to be my very own, and I know just what I would do with him...heh...:D ;) :D
 
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