Statham kicks some ass in CRANK

[j mclane]

Blah blah blah blah... Steven I worship you, your vicious punches and kicks make me WET with excitement and your beautiful face (which always seems to have the same pained expression of someone straining for a huge turd) is never far from my thoughts and dreams.

Nobody else comes close to you Steven - even DeNiro should give up, as his acting talents are NOTHING compared to yours. Every musician on earth might as well turn their guitars into firewood as nobody can match your playing. That Joe Satriani guy? Ha! Who's he?!

I have several thousand of your cherry flavoured energy drinks at home in my larder. With each one that I drink I feel it brings me a little closer to you. To God.

I imagine your large hands stroking my face every night when I close my eyes. I dream that I was the horse that you rode so well in The Patriot. I can just imagine you straddling me, your large legs entwined with mine. Your cellulite wobbling as we make the beast with two backs!

The fact that your last twelve or so movies have been at best lazy and sloppy and at worst completely unwatchable is neither here nor there, Steven.

Steven! I will love you even if you start making 3rd rate action movies with ridiculous taglines. I will love you even if you can no longer be bothered saying your lines and somebody else has to dub them. I will love you if you get too old and slow to do your own fight sequences and have to cheat your audience by getting someone else to do them for you. Hang on - you've been doing that for the past 6 years?! Never mind! You are the best! Blah blah blah. F.R.E.A.K.S.

Don Wilkey - Jason Statham's fight scenes are computer enhanced?! At least the guy attempts to actually do his own fight sequences, unlike your hero Seagal, of whom your blind worship is a little creepy.

GMan

Best response yet.

Glimmer, you a Hammer then??

 

[aikidoboynj]

Blah blah blah blah... Steven I worship you, your vicious punches and kicks make me WET with excitement and your beautiful face (which always seems to have the same pained expression of someone straining for a huge turd) is never far from my thoughts and dreams.

Nobody else comes close to you Steven - even DeNiro should give up, as his acting talents are NOTHING compared to yours. Every musician on earth might as well turn their guitars into firewood as nobody can match your playing. That Joe Satriani guy? Ha! Who's he?!

I have several thousand of your cherry flavoured energy drinks at home in my larder. With each one that I drink I feel it brings me a little closer to you. To God.

I imagine your large hands stroking my face every night when I close my eyes. I dream that I was the horse that you rode so well in The Patriot. I can just imagine you straddling me, your large legs entwined with mine. Your cellulite wobbling as we make the beast with two backs!

The fact that your last twelve or so movies have been at best lazy and sloppy and at worst completely unwatchable is neither here nor there, Steven.

Steven! I will love you even if you start making 3rd rate action movies with ridiculous taglines. I will love you even if you can no longer be bothered saying your lines and somebody else has to dub them. I will love you if you get too old and slow to do your own fight sequences and have to cheat your audience by getting someone else to do them for you. Hang on - you've been doing that for the past 6 years?! Never mind! You are the best! Blah blah blah. F.R.E.A.K.S.

Don Wilkey - Jason Statham's fight scenes are computer enhanced?! At least the guy attempts to actually do his own fight sequences, unlike your hero Seagal, of whom your blind worship is a little creepy.

GMan

Yeah that is pretty much the idea, and yes it is VERY VERY Creepy. I don't even like Jet Li or Tony Jaa either but jeez man he might be a real martial artist but he doesn't even do his own scenes- whether they be talking, fighting, jumping or even just walking down the street.

 

[Donald Lee Wilkey]

Glimmerman, i didn't know you were gay ?

Blah blah blah blah... Steven I worship you, your vicious punches and kicks make me WET with excitement and your beautiful face (which always seems to have the same pained expression of someone straining for a huge turd) is never far from my thoughts and dreams.

Nobody else comes close to you Steven - even DeNiro should give up, as his acting talents are NOTHING compared to yours. Every musician on earth might as well turn their guitars into firewood as nobody can match your playing. That Joe Satriani guy? Ha! Who's he?!

I have several thousand of your cherry flavoured energy drinks at home in my larder. With each one that I drink I feel it brings me a little closer to you. To God.

I imagine your large hands stroking my face every night when I close my eyes. I dream that I was the horse that you rode so well in The Patriot. I can just imagine you straddling me, your large legs entwined with mine. Your cellulite wobbling as we make the beast with two backs!

The fact that your last twelve or so movies have been at best lazy and sloppy and at worst completely unwatchable is neither here nor there, Steven.

Steven! I will love you even if you start making 3rd rate action movies with ridiculous taglines. I will love you even if you can no longer be bothered saying your lines and somebody else has to dub them. I will love you if you get too old and slow to do your own fight sequences and have to cheat your audience by getting someone else to do them for you. Hang on - you've been doing that for the past 6 years?! Never mind! You are the best! Blah blah blah. F.R.E.A.K.S.

Don Wilkey - Jason Statham's fight scenes are computer enhanced?! At least the guy attempts to actually do his own fight sequences, unlike your hero Seagal, of whom your blind worship is a little creepy.

GMan

I like Steven Seagal, but i don't want to sleep with him, it seems you do

 

[ORANGATUANG]

Gooooooooooo Don ....fight fire with fire mate...

 

[marky96]

Like you GlimmerMan I have recently become very concerned about donwilkey as his hero worship is both distrubing and creepy.

Of course it is no surprise to me that you defend donwilkey,ORANGATUANG. I have had some concerns about you for quite some time now.

 

[ORANGATUANG]

Like you GlimmerMan I have recently become very concerned about donwilkey as his hero worship is both distrubing and creepy.

Of course it is no surprise to me that you defend donwilkey,ORANGATUANG. I have had some concerns about you for quite some time now.

At least he gives an dam ..marky can you say anything good about seagal with out the words old, fat, lazy...

 

[Administrator]

Topic closed.