Did the unthinkable (my Aikido journey)
- Thread starter TDWoj
- Start date
latinojazz
Well-Known Member
TDWoj said:
You are very brave and valiant.
Did you know that ITSUO TSUDA, one of the latest uchi-deshis of O¨SENSEI started at 45?
And now he is a legend, and many dojos follow his path
Abhi said:
I have to give it to my friend's son who knows how to do these things, and then I will have to find somewhere to upload it, perhaps on his site, if he has room. It'll be at least a couple of weeks, but thanks for your interest! It'll be fun getting critiques from those I don't practice with!
latinojazz
Well-Known Member
I would like see that footage too
Well, the year's winding down, but I'm still chugging off to classes. I had a doctor's appointment this morning, a follow up to see how my slipped disc is progressing. It's getting better, slowly, even without treatment - the aikido does it good.
Well, until tonight.
We were doing a technique (kind of a fun one, it doesn't have a name, it was just practicing taking your opponent down in another way than the usual ones) and the pair next to me included Whiz Kid.
Whiz Kid likes doing big fancy rolls.
We had a lot of people on the mat.
Whiz Kid does a big fancy roll, and ends up bashing into me - hard - right on my back, right where the slipped disc is.
I went down like a ton of bricks.
I was stunned for a second, the breath knocked out of me. I was expecting major shooting pain, but I just got a second, maybe two, of numbness. It was the force with which I was struck that got me more than anything.
I left the mat for a few minutes, just to collect myself. It was near the end of class anyway.
I'm just worried that I'm going to be asked to leave the dojo as I seem to get struck so frequently, and one of these days, I may not be able to get up.
While there wasn't an immediate consequence to the accident at the time, right now, a couple of hours later, the pain is starting to build.
And I was so pleased with the doctor's report, and that I wouldn't have to have surgery because I'm showing improvement.
Grrrr.
Well, until tonight.
We were doing a technique (kind of a fun one, it doesn't have a name, it was just practicing taking your opponent down in another way than the usual ones) and the pair next to me included Whiz Kid.
Whiz Kid likes doing big fancy rolls.
We had a lot of people on the mat.
Whiz Kid does a big fancy roll, and ends up bashing into me - hard - right on my back, right where the slipped disc is.
I went down like a ton of bricks.
I was stunned for a second, the breath knocked out of me. I was expecting major shooting pain, but I just got a second, maybe two, of numbness. It was the force with which I was struck that got me more than anything.
I left the mat for a few minutes, just to collect myself. It was near the end of class anyway.
I'm just worried that I'm going to be asked to leave the dojo as I seem to get struck so frequently, and one of these days, I may not be able to get up.
While there wasn't an immediate consequence to the accident at the time, right now, a couple of hours later, the pain is starting to build.
And I was so pleased with the doctor's report, and that I wouldn't have to have surgery because I'm showing improvement.
Grrrr.
shihonage
New Member
The "whiz kid" is doing the fancy falls and thinking that he's improving his ukemi, but he wouldn't be more wrong. In fact, he failed, because if his ukemi was up to par, he wouldn't have bumped into you.
People think that ukemi is falling and that by improving their falling they improve their ukemi. No, they don't. By improving their falling they merely improve their falling. Ukemi is an art of being honest, alive, aware, and self-preservant. "Looking pretty" is nowhere in the definition of ukemi.
I see so many people fracture their collarbones, damage their joints and such, and get taken out of training for weeks and months, because they got it in their head that every fall must be a fancy flying breakfall. Thats a moronic approach to ukemi, really. By doing something dangerous so frequently you increase the chances of injury to yourself and those around you. And its completely unnecessary a lot of the time.
When I was a complete beginner, a visiting brown belt young woman decided to do the fancy flying breakfall out of kotegaeshi. It was absolutely unnecessary, because my knowledge of kotegaeshi at that point wasn't sufficient to actually FORCE her to do a breakfall. As a result, she hit her head on my knee during landing. I don't know how it happened. I was merely a newbie and wasn't expecting this at all. She was a brown belt. So much for her awareness of her surroundings and her nage - also known as "ukemi".
People think that ukemi is falling and that by improving their falling they improve their ukemi. No, they don't. By improving their falling they merely improve their falling. Ukemi is an art of being honest, alive, aware, and self-preservant. "Looking pretty" is nowhere in the definition of ukemi.
I see so many people fracture their collarbones, damage their joints and such, and get taken out of training for weeks and months, because they got it in their head that every fall must be a fancy flying breakfall. Thats a moronic approach to ukemi, really. By doing something dangerous so frequently you increase the chances of injury to yourself and those around you. And its completely unnecessary a lot of the time.
When I was a complete beginner, a visiting brown belt young woman decided to do the fancy flying breakfall out of kotegaeshi. It was absolutely unnecessary, because my knowledge of kotegaeshi at that point wasn't sufficient to actually FORCE her to do a breakfall. As a result, she hit her head on my knee during landing. I don't know how it happened. I was merely a newbie and wasn't expecting this at all. She was a brown belt. So much for her awareness of her surroundings and her nage - also known as "ukemi".
Well, ever since I threw the instructor into another student, I've been extra super careful about making sure when I throw someone, I'm not throwing someone into someone else. Sometimes it's hard to catch someone in mid throw to avoid hitting someone else, but the bumps are usually quite minor.
When the mat's crowded, you have to condense a little or risk accidents. I just hope one of the senior students explains to Whiz Kid about being aware of his surroundings. Since he's now 5th kyu and I'm still only 6th, I have no right to tell him anything at all, since he is now senior to me.
My back hurts. Ow.
When the mat's crowded, you have to condense a little or risk accidents. I just hope one of the senior students explains to Whiz Kid about being aware of his surroundings. Since he's now 5th kyu and I'm still only 6th, I have no right to tell him anything at all, since he is now senior to me.
My back hurts. Ow.
Just an update: I had to go to the hospital last night. The pain after the accident got worse over the holidays, and in the past few days, the tingling in my leg was also getting worse. Last night the pain and the tingling suddenly stopped, and I thought, oh, good... until I realised I had almost no feeling in my left leg. I called the health help line and the nurse suggested I should go to emerg ASAP.
I had no way of getting to the hospital except by walking. I tell you, it was weird, putting a foot down that I could see but not feel. After about 2 blocks, the tingling started up again, and by the time I got to the hospital (about 7 blocks away) both the tingling and the pain were back, though the numbness was still present.
By the time the doc saw me, the numbness had mostly worn off. Whatever the med student did when he was testing my leg strength and mobility, though, seemed to have unpinched whatever had been pinched, and today was mostly tingle and numbness free, though I had the worst back spasm for most of the day.
Yes, I went to class tonight. It's the only thing that alleviates the pain of back spasms.
Also in class tonight was Whiz Kid. It had been suggested to me by a senior student that I should say something to him about the incident. I was reluctant, but I decided it had to be done.
We were alone up at the front, and I said to him, quietly, that I would appreciate it if when the mat was crowded would he kindly do small soft ukemi, for the sake of the safety of the people around him. He rolled his eyes, and said "I'll try" in a tone of voice that indicated he had no intention of doing so. That irked me; I told him I was still suffering from the effects of the smash, and he made it pretty clear he couldn't care less, and he wasn't going to change his way of doing things. "Accidents happen all the time," he said dismissively and walked away.
I was taken aback, but there was nothing more I could say.
I stayed for weapons class, and ended up sitting out the last 15 minutes because my back was starting to hurt and I tire quicker now with this injury. I was watching him, throwing wild, throwing one guy right off the mat into the foyer. I avoided him for both classes (not easy to do as there weren't that many people on the mat in the first class, and the second class we were working in groups of threes and fours). I just don't feel safe around this guy.
I work hard at my aikido; okay, so maybe I'm not the queen of ukemi - I still haven't mastered the forward roll, though the left side is getting better (the right side still needs a lot of work). For a while there, I wondered why I wasn't getting a lot of help for techniques, until I was told by one of the instructors, that I wasn't getting help because my technique was generally very good.
Well, I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. The emerg doctor suggested that I should get a second set of x-rays to compare with the first set to see if something's gone further askew. She's also sending me for a CT scan as soon as there's a slot, probably in 10 days to 2 weeks. (She hinted that if the doctor had a way of getting me a CT scan sooner, the sooner the better. I don't like the sound of that, at all.)
If I have to give up aikido because of this incident, I am going to be mightily pissed.
It's so bloody unfair.
I will let you know what the doctor says after the appointment tomorrow.
I had no way of getting to the hospital except by walking. I tell you, it was weird, putting a foot down that I could see but not feel. After about 2 blocks, the tingling started up again, and by the time I got to the hospital (about 7 blocks away) both the tingling and the pain were back, though the numbness was still present.
By the time the doc saw me, the numbness had mostly worn off. Whatever the med student did when he was testing my leg strength and mobility, though, seemed to have unpinched whatever had been pinched, and today was mostly tingle and numbness free, though I had the worst back spasm for most of the day.
Yes, I went to class tonight. It's the only thing that alleviates the pain of back spasms.
Also in class tonight was Whiz Kid. It had been suggested to me by a senior student that I should say something to him about the incident. I was reluctant, but I decided it had to be done.
We were alone up at the front, and I said to him, quietly, that I would appreciate it if when the mat was crowded would he kindly do small soft ukemi, for the sake of the safety of the people around him. He rolled his eyes, and said "I'll try" in a tone of voice that indicated he had no intention of doing so. That irked me; I told him I was still suffering from the effects of the smash, and he made it pretty clear he couldn't care less, and he wasn't going to change his way of doing things. "Accidents happen all the time," he said dismissively and walked away.
I was taken aback, but there was nothing more I could say.
I stayed for weapons class, and ended up sitting out the last 15 minutes because my back was starting to hurt and I tire quicker now with this injury. I was watching him, throwing wild, throwing one guy right off the mat into the foyer. I avoided him for both classes (not easy to do as there weren't that many people on the mat in the first class, and the second class we were working in groups of threes and fours). I just don't feel safe around this guy.
I work hard at my aikido; okay, so maybe I'm not the queen of ukemi - I still haven't mastered the forward roll, though the left side is getting better (the right side still needs a lot of work). For a while there, I wondered why I wasn't getting a lot of help for techniques, until I was told by one of the instructors, that I wasn't getting help because my technique was generally very good.
Well, I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. The emerg doctor suggested that I should get a second set of x-rays to compare with the first set to see if something's gone further askew. She's also sending me for a CT scan as soon as there's a slot, probably in 10 days to 2 weeks. (She hinted that if the doctor had a way of getting me a CT scan sooner, the sooner the better. I don't like the sound of that, at all.)
If I have to give up aikido because of this incident, I am going to be mightily pissed.
It's so bloody unfair.
I will let you know what the doctor says after the appointment tomorrow.
Okay, back from the doctor.
The tingling was caused by another nerve being pinched. It's resulted in weakness in my left leg. Only time will tell whether the damage is permanent or temporary. I can continue with aikido, but with even more restrictions than before. At this point, with all of the additional restrictions, I'm wondering if I should even bother to go back at all.
I am very depressed right now.
The tingling was caused by another nerve being pinched. It's resulted in weakness in my left leg. Only time will tell whether the damage is permanent or temporary. I can continue with aikido, but with even more restrictions than before. At this point, with all of the additional restrictions, I'm wondering if I should even bother to go back at all.
I am very depressed right now.
tenshinaikidoka
Martial Art Student
I think you should see a movie called "Aiki". It is about a wheelchair bound person who studied Daito Ryu Aikijujutsu (Roppokai). It is based on an actual person who is a 4th Dan in Roppokai. Good movie and very motivational. Just know that it is a Japanese movie, but it is subtitled!!!!
I think I've heard of that film. I'd rather not be in a wheelchair myself, of course.... I just hope that though the leg might be weaker, it won't actually fail on me.
Right now I'm just so angry - angry that I had the bad luck to get the slipped disc in the first place, angry that this accident happened, angry because the guy who caused the accident doesn't realise what he did. I just don't know how to let it go so things don't get worse. I really love practicing aikido, and all of this bad stuff is just overwhelming me.
Right now I'm just so angry - angry that I had the bad luck to get the slipped disc in the first place, angry that this accident happened, angry because the guy who caused the accident doesn't realise what he did. I just don't know how to let it go so things don't get worse. I really love practicing aikido, and all of this bad stuff is just overwhelming me.
shihonage
New Member
I've owned "Aiki" on DVD for 2 years already. Its certainly amusing. The portrayal of martial arts in it is about as accurate as Okinawan Karate was in Karate Kid. But I guess thats not what the movie is about.
One thing that seriously put a dent in the movie for me is that the protagonist is actually a seriously overweight, unhealthy-looking caucasian man in real-life. In the movie, he's Japanese (but thats understandable), but he's also played by someone who weights literally 5 times less than him.
I mean... he's played by a complete stickman. 80lbs soaking wet. No muscles of any kind. A slight gust of wind can blow him over. This stickman had a career in boxing ? Yeah, and I'm Julia Roberts.
One thing that seriously put a dent in the movie for me is that the protagonist is actually a seriously overweight, unhealthy-looking caucasian man in real-life. In the movie, he's Japanese (but thats understandable), but he's also played by someone who weights literally 5 times less than him.
I mean... he's played by a complete stickman. 80lbs soaking wet. No muscles of any kind. A slight gust of wind can blow him over. This stickman had a career in boxing ? Yeah, and I'm Julia Roberts.
tenshinaikidoka
Martial Art Student
LOL, ok, that was funny Shihonage. Yes, you are correct, the martial arts are something to be desired, and yes, the 300lb white man it is based on is played by a Japanese man who might weigh 120lbs. But the movie itself is ok, and it made me laugh, even if it wasn't funny!!!
shihonage
New Member
Ok, the forum just erased a post I took half an hour to write. I guess I'll just sum it up...
TDWoj, how do I put it ... it really SUCKS to hear about your injury. In my school, when I get overly "enthusiastic" ( more like self-involved), Sensei will shout out my name and remind me that this training is not just for myself, but for my uke as well.
Now let's think of the circumstances that would allow you to continue training.
If you keep running into obstacles which suggest your Sensei being out of touch with the class, maybe you ARE done with Aikido. IN THAT PARTICULAR SCHOOL. You may be lead toward another school where Sensei actually exercises his or her control and where the chance of running into a Whiz Kid is much lower. Where people are more empathic and actually care about their surroundings.
Having said that - eventually you will run into another Whiz Kid. Don't let one rotten apple spoil a bunch of perfectly good oranges.
And I think the Whiz Kid is already avoiding you as a partner as well. However you shouldn't avoid the Whiz Kid. Being selective about your partners starts you down the road which closes out your Aikido training. Let the Kid do that to himself if he wants - but your training is more valuable to you.
TDWoj, how do I put it ... it really SUCKS to hear about your injury. In my school, when I get overly "enthusiastic" ( more like self-involved), Sensei will shout out my name and remind me that this training is not just for myself, but for my uke as well.
Now let's think of the circumstances that would allow you to continue training.
If you keep running into obstacles which suggest your Sensei being out of touch with the class, maybe you ARE done with Aikido. IN THAT PARTICULAR SCHOOL. You may be lead toward another school where Sensei actually exercises his or her control and where the chance of running into a Whiz Kid is much lower. Where people are more empathic and actually care about their surroundings.
Having said that - eventually you will run into another Whiz Kid. Don't let one rotten apple spoil a bunch of perfectly good oranges.
And I think the Whiz Kid is already avoiding you as a partner as well. However you shouldn't avoid the Whiz Kid. Being selective about your partners starts you down the road which closes out your Aikido training. Let the Kid do that to himself if he wants - but your training is more valuable to you.
Thanks, Shihonage.
At the moment, I think it's best not to work with Whiz Kid because I don't feel safe working with him. I still have the avenue of speaking to the instructors. If the instructors notice that I refuse to work with Whiz Kid, I will tell them why if they ask. I just don't want to be seen as a complainer, or whiney, or anything like that.
I will see how things go for a while.
All of this is just breaking my heart. You guys have no idea how much.
At the moment, I think it's best not to work with Whiz Kid because I don't feel safe working with him. I still have the avenue of speaking to the instructors. If the instructors notice that I refuse to work with Whiz Kid, I will tell them why if they ask. I just don't want to be seen as a complainer, or whiney, or anything like that.
I will see how things go for a while.
All of this is just breaking my heart. You guys have no idea how much.
shihonage
New Member
tenshinaikidoka said:
I liked the part where he realizes that he needs to move his center in order to be effective.
Also, I find it ironic that the most dynamic and real portrayal of martial arts was done by the man who beat up the hooligans (and then asked them for $$ for wheelchair repairs). I expected that man to be THE Aikijitsu master, but alas, in vain.
But yeah, overall the spirit of the movie is positive, even though it starts really really dark. As far as I recall there were a lot fewer catheters in Karate Kid.
shihonage
New Member
TDWoj said:
We have a couple of older people with injuries in our dojo. What I notice they do is this...
They don't downright avoid training with you. BUT - they give slow, reserved attacks and basically go through the motions of ukemi in a way which doesn't let the nage do much.
The one thing about cooperative aspect of Aikido is that uke can always attack in a way which makes it impossible to force him/her into a technique. You just don't give up your balance and don't let the nage get any inertia or take out slack.
One of our female instructors in her 50's trains this way - at least when paired with someone who is much bigger and can easily injure them by brute-forcing the technique. They sort of follow along (or rather, keep one step ahead), as long as what the nage is doing is generally correct.
Although I am not a big fan of this approach, in your case it could serve well when dealing with a Whiz Kid. Just don't give a _dedicated_ attack, and keep one step ahead in the ukemi. Your training will look ok from the side, and you will not be "avoiding" him.
If the Kid starts to try to really LAUNCH you, his efforts will be a lot more visible and out of touch with the rest of the class. Thats because you will be giving him no energy and he will have to generate energy for two in order to gain any semblance of inertia out of you. He will start to look downright aggressive. That should definitely attract Sensei's attention.
Also, this approach will make the Kid definitely try to avoid training with you. And you won't be the one avoiding him.
I went to class tonight. I was actually just planning to drop something off, but I was feeling so depressed. I spoke to the instructor - usually it's our head instructor, but it was another one teaching tonight - and just let it all out (well, not about Whiz Kid, but about my back troubles). I did mention, though, that I am always careful in class, but that I have no control over those who choose not to be careful.
I have made up my mind to speak to the head instructor. I will not point fingers, but I will ask that she consider discussing mat safety measures, especially when the mat is crowded, with the other instructors and in class. She does mention it from time to time, but I don't think it's quite sunk in.
Tonight's class I practiced some forward rolls, and ushiro yoko kaiten, but the doctor suggested I don't do ushiro kaiten for a while, at least until it's certain the damage to the pinched nerve is permanent or not.
I had a good class tonight. I spoke to each of my partners and told them (we were doing various forms of shihonage against a yokumen attack) not to jerk or let me go down too hard to the mat. I gave them a full attack - I never give wussy attacks - so they got the benefit of their practice during the main part of the technique; it was just at the take down point where things slowed down so that I could go down gently. As one of my instructors pointed out, you don't have to do a technique fast, just because you can - doing it smoothly at a slower speed will still give you what you need to practice the technique correctly.
I'm still pretty upset; but as I told the instructor, "so I've lost about 20% of function in my left leg, maybe temporarily, maybe permanently; but that still leaves 80% to work with."
And for now, that's good enough.
I have made up my mind to speak to the head instructor. I will not point fingers, but I will ask that she consider discussing mat safety measures, especially when the mat is crowded, with the other instructors and in class. She does mention it from time to time, but I don't think it's quite sunk in.
Tonight's class I practiced some forward rolls, and ushiro yoko kaiten, but the doctor suggested I don't do ushiro kaiten for a while, at least until it's certain the damage to the pinched nerve is permanent or not.
I had a good class tonight. I spoke to each of my partners and told them (we were doing various forms of shihonage against a yokumen attack) not to jerk or let me go down too hard to the mat. I gave them a full attack - I never give wussy attacks - so they got the benefit of their practice during the main part of the technique; it was just at the take down point where things slowed down so that I could go down gently. As one of my instructors pointed out, you don't have to do a technique fast, just because you can - doing it smoothly at a slower speed will still give you what you need to practice the technique correctly.
I'm still pretty upset; but as I told the instructor, "so I've lost about 20% of function in my left leg, maybe temporarily, maybe permanently; but that still leaves 80% to work with."
And for now, that's good enough.
Brief update: I spoke to the head instructor, did not name names (although she knows it was Whiz Kid who whacked me in the back), asked that the instructors discuss among themselves and afterwards to the students about mat safety, particularly in crowded mat situations. She agreed that it was a good idea.
Things are improving on the physical front. The cotton-woolish feeling of numbness in my legs has subsided quite a bit. I still get the tinglies, but not as much. I've decided to take this week off from training, though I might go in to watch a class or two, depending on how much work comes in this week. I'll be back in class on Saturday.
I've come far in just a year, I don't want to give it up! So best be careful and take things slow. I'm still planning on taking my 5th kyu test in March, if all goes well.
(I hope the CT scan doesn't reveal anything too horrible that would bollux things up.)
Things are improving on the physical front. The cotton-woolish feeling of numbness in my legs has subsided quite a bit. I still get the tinglies, but not as much. I've decided to take this week off from training, though I might go in to watch a class or two, depending on how much work comes in this week. I'll be back in class on Saturday.
I've come far in just a year, I don't want to give it up! So best be careful and take things slow. I'm still planning on taking my 5th kyu test in March, if all goes well.
(I hope the CT scan doesn't reveal anything too horrible that would bollux things up.)