Well Storm,
I understand that most of those so called fans are of a different sort, they
are very demanding...
Maybe he doesn't have the desire to lose weight, maybe he wants to be loved and admired just as he is...
Maybe some the "fans" would like him to be slimmer, but it's just their own ego telling them they want him to be a certain way...
Fact is, he is how he is, and to me he's wonderful...
I am one that does like him just as he is, and that will never change...
I can tell you that I definately understand those desires to be loved for your merits and not your looks...
Maybe he doesn't even worry about it, and I think that's great...
I wish I could have that attitude...
Personally, I am scared to death that he would never like me because I am in dire need of losing a lot weight...
I also know that for most men visual (physical) stimulus is extremely crucial...
But he would never need to lose weight for me to love him, because it's obvious that I already do...
And I honestly like him heavier, as I think it gives him that real tough, edgy, menacing look...
Some of you might think that is weird, but it's the truth...
I think a big, burly man is sexy and exciting, to me men should be big...
I don't think he is neccesarily all that menacing in real life, but who is to know really?
I think he's very exciting...
I personally think he is senstive and compassionate, and that these people that judge him on his looks are being very hurtful and shallow...
And I admit the way he looks is a strong part of my attraction too, but it is most definately not all of it...
I know I shouldn't let my insecurities about my body dictate what I do either, but it's hard...
Not having the emotional support is hard too, but I can't tell you how many nice friends I have made here...
I think we all love Steven just as he is, but we are his truest fans...
Maybe he just wants to be loved for who he is...
And who a person is, cannot be determind soley by ones looks...
However, the looks changing can really affect one emotionally.
Or is it the other way around?
I think it can be both, a viscious cycle...
Because people still do initially judge you based upon what's on the outside, and eventually you tire of it and maybe you even sabotage your looks to see what other reaction you might get...
I do know this...
I think this is exactly what I did...
Maybe that sounds crazy to you, I don't know...
It's kind of the opposite of anorexia, I guess...
But since realizing this, I am trying really hard now to improve myself so that I can feel better about me...
But that is still very wrong, because I should naturally feel good about myself, and the weight shouldn't matter...
I don't judge others by it so why should I judge myself by it?
Sigh, I can't answer that...
And I am sorry if I am ranting, but this is a very sesitive issue for me...
Only Steven can make that choice to lose if the weight is a problem for him...
I deeply hope that it isn't...
I wouldn't ever care how big he was...
Sometimes there are even physical problems that make it difficult to lose as well...
Hopefully he is totally healthy and fine that way, though...
I do understand how hard it is for me to be heavy...
I wouldn't wish it on anyone...
I support him no matter what, and I see his talents and his worthiness...
He's an amazing man in my eyes, and yes, he the most attractive man just as he is...
In fact I am blinded to anyone else...
Steven, stay big baby!
Or lose it all, it's all your choice!
But I will always love, support and admire you, no matter what!
You are the greatest!