Laughter is the best medicine!
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Anneliese
Happy go Lucky
Maxine's jokes.
You gotta love 'er!
Dont like my attitude?
Send me an email at
www.like_I_care.com
I can't be bothered with a cell phone in my car.....
I am too busy making finger gestures at everyone!
Anneliese
You gotta love 'er!
Dont like my attitude?
Send me an email at
www.like_I_care.com
I can't be bothered with a cell phone in my car.....
I am too busy making finger gestures at everyone!
Anneliese
Anneliese
Happy go Lucky
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with the fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh,Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep,3 Males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued,she asked."How can you tell?"
He responded," 3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone....".
Anneliese
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh,Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep,3 Males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued,she asked."How can you tell?"
He responded," 3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone....".
Anneliese
I took that one to work. 
Jules
Potters Clay
There was a red head that walked into the doctors office. She told the doctor "No matter where I touch myself doctor it hurts." She proceeded to show him by touching her leg, then her arm..."Ouch..ouch...see doctor, no matter where I touch my body it hurts."
"Hmmm..." the doctor thought. "Are you a natural red Maam?" asked the doctor.
"Well, uh..no. Actually I am a blonde." she replied.
Looking at her finger, then her hair roots, he said,"I see... Maam...your finger is broken."
"Hmmm..." the doctor thought. "Are you a natural red Maam?" asked the doctor.
"Well, uh..no. Actually I am a blonde." she replied.
Looking at her finger, then her hair roots, he said,"I see... Maam...your finger is broken."
tora
Funmaker
Gotcha!
A parrot story.
A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful
parrot. There was a sign on the cage that read $50.00.
"Why so little," she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that
this bird used to live in a house of prostitution and sometimes says
some pretty vulgar stuff."
The woman thought about this but decided she had to have the bird
anyway.
She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and
waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at
her, and said, "New house, new madam."
The woman was a bit shocked at the implication but then thought, "That's
not so bad."
When her two teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw them
and said, "New house, new madam, new hookers."
The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh
about the situation.
Moments later, the woman's husband, Keith, came home from work.
The bird looked at him and said, "Hi Keith."
A parrot story.
A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful
parrot. There was a sign on the cage that read $50.00.
"Why so little," she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that
this bird used to live in a house of prostitution and sometimes says
some pretty vulgar stuff."
The woman thought about this but decided she had to have the bird
anyway.
She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and
waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at
her, and said, "New house, new madam."
The woman was a bit shocked at the implication but then thought, "That's
not so bad."
When her two teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw them
and said, "New house, new madam, new hookers."
The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh
about the situation.
Moments later, the woman's husband, Keith, came home from work.
The bird looked at him and said, "Hi Keith."
tora
Funmaker
Real life IAS i.e. UPSC Exam 1998 Interview
Question and there Answer given by Candidates oh sorry IAS
Officer now.
Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking
it?
A.Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)
Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall,how long would it
take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 Rank Opted for IFS)
Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four
apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)
Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with
one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)
Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs , He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98)
Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)
Q. What looks like half apple ?
A : The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper )
Q. What can you never eat for breakfast ?
A : Dinner.
Q. What happened when wheel was invented ?
A : It caused a revolution.
Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A : Liquid (UPSC 33Rank )
Q: what is the opposite of Nagpanchmi?
A: Nag did not punch me
Q:now what is the inverse of Nagpanchmi? Come on..
A: I punched the Nag. (is somebody obsessed bout naags?)
Q: Chintu 's mom has three sons.What is the name of the other two?
A:Chin-1 & Chin-3 (Phew!)
Cheers my dear IAS officers ... (hoping that you would have guessed
the correct answers for all ..... ... (;-)
Question and there Answer given by Candidates oh sorry IAS
Officer now.
Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking
it?
A.Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)
Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall,how long would it
take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built. (UPSC 23 Rank Opted for IFS)
Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four
apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.(Good one) (UPSC 11 Rank Opted for IPS)
Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with
one hand. (UPSC Rank 14 Opted for IES)
Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs , He sleeps at night. (UPSC IAS Rank 98)
Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. (UPSC IAS Rank 2)
Q. What looks like half apple ?
A : The other half. (UPSC - IAS Topper )
Q. What can you never eat for breakfast ?
A : Dinner.
Q. What happened when wheel was invented ?
A : It caused a revolution.
Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A : Liquid (UPSC 33Rank )
Q: what is the opposite of Nagpanchmi?
A: Nag did not punch me
Q:now what is the inverse of Nagpanchmi? Come on..
A: I punched the Nag. (is somebody obsessed bout naags?)
Q: Chintu 's mom has three sons.What is the name of the other two?
A:Chin-1 & Chin-3 (Phew!)
Cheers my dear IAS officers ... (hoping that you would have guessed
the correct answers for all ..... ... (;-)
tora
Funmaker
Qualifier's point
Here are the correct answers from Tora
Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking
it?
A.There should be an escape hatch on the floor.Just lift the hatch cover when the egg starts falling.
Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall,how long would it
take four men to build it?
A. Just another brick in the wall.
Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four
apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Handsfull.Mouth empty.Stomach ready.
Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. Click a button.
Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. That's no man.
Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. A seamilestone.
Q. What looks like half apple ?
A : A pine.
Q. What can you never eat for breakfast ?
A : Whatever you drink.
Q. What happened when wheel was invented ?
A : Another wheel was made,and another one,and another...
Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A : In the same state Bengal is in.
Q: what is the opposite of Nagpanchmi?
A: Look in the mirror.
Q:now what is the inverse of Nagpanchmi? Come on..
A: Turn your back on the mirror and look over your shoulder.
Q: Chintu 's mom has three sons.What is the name of the other two?
A:Are they triplets or what?
Here are the correct answers from Tora
Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking
it?
A.There should be an escape hatch on the floor.Just lift the hatch cover when the egg starts falling.
Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall,how long would it
take four men to build it?
A. Just another brick in the wall.
Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four
apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Handsfull.Mouth empty.Stomach ready.
Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. Click a button.
Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. That's no man.
Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. A seamilestone.
Q. What looks like half apple ?
A : A pine.
Q. What can you never eat for breakfast ?
A : Whatever you drink.
Q. What happened when wheel was invented ?
A : Another wheel was made,and another one,and another...
Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A : In the same state Bengal is in.
Q: what is the opposite of Nagpanchmi?
A: Look in the mirror.
Q:now what is the inverse of Nagpanchmi? Come on..
A: Turn your back on the mirror and look over your shoulder.
Q: Chintu 's mom has three sons.What is the name of the other two?
A:Are they triplets or what?
Jules
Potters Clay
"Fifty Bucks is Fifty Bucks"
Tom and Jean were walking around the fair grounds when they started to pass the helicopter where a man stood waiting to see if anyone wanted to buy a ride in his helicopter.
Tom: "Honey...I want to ride in the helicopter. It is only fifty bucks."
Jean: "No..Fifty bucks is fifty buck."
With that...the couple left.
The next year at the fair the helicopter pilot watched the same thing.
Tom: "Honey I really want to ride in that helicopter."
Jean: "Tom, no..fifty bucks is fifty bucks."
Year after year the same thing happened. When Tom was 80 years old and found himself and his wife at the fair yet again....
Tom: "Honey...I WANT TO RIDE ON THAT HELICOPTER!"
Jean: NO! FIFTY BUCKS IS FIFTY BUCKS!"
Having to listen to this all over again the pilot had an idea...
Pilot: "Tell you what folks...I have watched you two for years come here and argue about riding my helicopter. You both can ride my helicopter for FREE...with one condition. you both DO NOT say ONE WORD! If you do...each who speaks owes me fifty bucks."
Jean: "Thats a deal we can't pass up...ok Tom, you'll get your helicopter ride."
With that...the pilot took them up in his chopper. He did fancy turns and flew around the area. To his surprise the couple said absolutely nothing. After landing the helicopter the pilot turned to notice that Jean was missing.
Tom: "I would have told you she fell out some time ago....but HEY...fifty bucks is fifty bucks!!"
Tom and Jean were walking around the fair grounds when they started to pass the helicopter where a man stood waiting to see if anyone wanted to buy a ride in his helicopter.
Tom: "Honey...I want to ride in the helicopter. It is only fifty bucks."
Jean: "No..Fifty bucks is fifty buck."
With that...the couple left.
The next year at the fair the helicopter pilot watched the same thing.
Tom: "Honey I really want to ride in that helicopter."
Jean: "Tom, no..fifty bucks is fifty bucks."
Year after year the same thing happened. When Tom was 80 years old and found himself and his wife at the fair yet again....
Tom: "Honey...I WANT TO RIDE ON THAT HELICOPTER!"
Jean: NO! FIFTY BUCKS IS FIFTY BUCKS!"
Having to listen to this all over again the pilot had an idea...
Pilot: "Tell you what folks...I have watched you two for years come here and argue about riding my helicopter. You both can ride my helicopter for FREE...with one condition. you both DO NOT say ONE WORD! If you do...each who speaks owes me fifty bucks."
Jean: "Thats a deal we can't pass up...ok Tom, you'll get your helicopter ride."
With that...the pilot took them up in his chopper. He did fancy turns and flew around the area. To his surprise the couple said absolutely nothing. After landing the helicopter the pilot turned to notice that Jean was missing.
Tom: "I would have told you she fell out some time ago....but HEY...fifty bucks is fifty bucks!!"
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