Lol
- Thread starter yudansha
- Start date
Seen some of them before, but they're still good. 
Amos Stevens
New Member
I think Yudansha meant that this thread is for lolling/LAUGHING over, he didn't mean it directed to you Lollipop 
Group hug...ladies only please
Group hug...ladies only please
Lollipop
Banned
Amos Stevens said:I think Yudansha meant that this thread is for lolling/LAUGHING over, he didn't mean it directed to you Lollipop
Group hug...ladies only please
Yes, he did Amos, I ask if I could post and he said "if it makes you LOL...
... go right ahead! and what I posted made me LOL!!
And then he said "This thread is for lolling ONLY!"
So is he just entertaining himself?
Very confusing!!!
Littledragon
Above The Law
Littledragon
Above The Law
yudansha
TheGreatOne
"So is he just entertaining himself?"
Confusing??!!! You know, it would be less confusing if that post you made with a reply to one of mine wasn't deleted. Just so that I can exactly point out as to what NOT so confusing my comment was all about! (between my last two posts was 1 post of yours - where is it?)
If you've deleted it, I think that would be YOU entertaining yourself!
I also do not see the need to explain myself in this situation as I think I've made myself pretty clear. This english barrier truly is a bitch. (pardon for the language, but maybe you can understand that at least)
Just to make it clear to you, Lollipop. What I meant when I said that this thread was just for lolling was that there is nothing here to which anybody should get upset over. In that post of yours - which was deleted - you've made yourself sound "upset." Do you see where I'm going at now? If you don't (and I don't mean to be rude), please consult a dictionary or a psychologist. You didn't catch me on a very good day.
Confusing??!!! You know, it would be less confusing if that post you made with a reply to one of mine wasn't deleted. Just so that I can exactly point out as to what NOT so confusing my comment was all about! (between my last two posts was 1 post of yours - where is it?)
If you've deleted it, I think that would be YOU entertaining yourself!
I also do not see the need to explain myself in this situation as I think I've made myself pretty clear. This english barrier truly is a bitch. (pardon for the language, but maybe you can understand that at least)
Just to make it clear to you, Lollipop. What I meant when I said that this thread was just for lolling was that there is nothing here to which anybody should get upset over. In that post of yours - which was deleted - you've made yourself sound "upset." Do you see where I'm going at now? If you don't (and I don't mean to be rude), please consult a dictionary or a psychologist. You didn't catch me on a very good day.
Littledragon
Above The Law
Funny one!
LOL That's a good one Yudansha!!
yudansha said:
LOL That's a good one Yudansha!!
yudansha
TheGreatOne
Let's humour you...
Sign on a billboard advertising hot tubs: "Are you in hot water with someone? You could be!"
The boss asked 4 applicants the same question: "What is two and two?" The first interviewee was a journalist. His answer was "22." The second, an engineer, calculated the answer to be between 3.999 and 4.001. The third applicant, a lawyer, cited a court case in which two and two was proved to be four. The last candidate was an accountant. When he heard the question, he leaned across the desk and said in a low voice, "What do you want it to be?"
Playing baseball alone in his backyard, a boy announced, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world." He tossed the ball in the air, swung and missed. "Strike one!" he yelled. He picked up the ball and said again, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!" Feeling confident this time, he lobbed the ball, swung - and missed. "Strike two!" he yelled. The boy examined his bat and then his ball. He spit on his hands, rubbed them together, then tugged his cap and repeated, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!" Agagin he tossed the ball, swung and missed. "Strike three!" "Wow!" the boy exclaimed. "I'm the greatest pitcher in the world!"
A bum asks a man for two dollars. The man says, "If I give you the money, will you buy booze?" The bum says no. The man asks, "Will you gamble?" The bum says no. "Then will you come home with me?" the man asks. "I want my wife to see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble.
The leaders of the big beer companies meet for a drink. The president of Budweiser orders a Bud, the CEO of Miller gets a Miller, the head of Coors orders a Coors, and so on. Until it's Arthur Guinness's turn. He orders a soda. "Why didn't you order a Guinness?" everyone asks. "Nah," Guinness replies, "if you guys aren't having beer, then neither will I."
One day a couple of rabbits found themselves chased by a pack of wolves. They dashed into a thicket and stood there for a moment, panting. "Well," one said to the other, "should we keep running or stay here till we outnumber them?"
Randy the dishwasher repairman was given specific instructions concerning the woman's two pets. "The Rottweiler won't hurt you, even though it looks fierce, but whatever you do, don't talk to the parrot." Randy let himself in and set to work, and the dog just lay quietly on the carpet. But the parrot mocked him mercilessly the whole time. "Hey, fatso," the bird would say, "you couldn't change the batteries in a flashlight, let alone fix a dishwasher." Before long, Randy had had enough. "You know, bird, you think you're pretty smart for someone with a brain the size of a pea." The parrot was silent a moment, then, with a gleam in its eye, said, "All right, get him, Spike."
When Diane found out she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news. One day she took her four-year-old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby. "Yes!" Sam said, "and I know what we're going to name it, too. If it's a girl, we're calling it Molly. And if it's another boy, we're going to call it Quits!"
Sign on a billboard advertising hot tubs: "Are you in hot water with someone? You could be!"
The boss asked 4 applicants the same question: "What is two and two?" The first interviewee was a journalist. His answer was "22." The second, an engineer, calculated the answer to be between 3.999 and 4.001. The third applicant, a lawyer, cited a court case in which two and two was proved to be four. The last candidate was an accountant. When he heard the question, he leaned across the desk and said in a low voice, "What do you want it to be?"
Playing baseball alone in his backyard, a boy announced, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world." He tossed the ball in the air, swung and missed. "Strike one!" he yelled. He picked up the ball and said again, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!" Feeling confident this time, he lobbed the ball, swung - and missed. "Strike two!" he yelled. The boy examined his bat and then his ball. He spit on his hands, rubbed them together, then tugged his cap and repeated, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!" Agagin he tossed the ball, swung and missed. "Strike three!" "Wow!" the boy exclaimed. "I'm the greatest pitcher in the world!"
A bum asks a man for two dollars. The man says, "If I give you the money, will you buy booze?" The bum says no. The man asks, "Will you gamble?" The bum says no. "Then will you come home with me?" the man asks. "I want my wife to see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble.
The leaders of the big beer companies meet for a drink. The president of Budweiser orders a Bud, the CEO of Miller gets a Miller, the head of Coors orders a Coors, and so on. Until it's Arthur Guinness's turn. He orders a soda. "Why didn't you order a Guinness?" everyone asks. "Nah," Guinness replies, "if you guys aren't having beer, then neither will I."
One day a couple of rabbits found themselves chased by a pack of wolves. They dashed into a thicket and stood there for a moment, panting. "Well," one said to the other, "should we keep running or stay here till we outnumber them?"
Randy the dishwasher repairman was given specific instructions concerning the woman's two pets. "The Rottweiler won't hurt you, even though it looks fierce, but whatever you do, don't talk to the parrot." Randy let himself in and set to work, and the dog just lay quietly on the carpet. But the parrot mocked him mercilessly the whole time. "Hey, fatso," the bird would say, "you couldn't change the batteries in a flashlight, let alone fix a dishwasher." Before long, Randy had had enough. "You know, bird, you think you're pretty smart for someone with a brain the size of a pea." The parrot was silent a moment, then, with a gleam in its eye, said, "All right, get him, Spike."
When Diane found out she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news. One day she took her four-year-old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby. "Yes!" Sam said, "and I know what we're going to name it, too. If it's a girl, we're calling it Molly. And if it's another boy, we're going to call it Quits!"
yudansha
TheGreatOne
time well wasted...
After mistakenly leaving a hearing aid in the pocket of the shirt, the shirt was sent through the washer. A call was given to the hearing centre to see if the drowned apparatus could be fixed. "Dry it thoroughly," the receptionist instructed, "then bring it in." "Oh, that's no problem! I put it in the dryer, too."
After the funeral, the family proceeded to the cemetery. A six-year-old noticed the funeral director's car leading the way. "Why does that car have a flashing light on its roof?" he asked. His ten-year-old cousin (an F1 fan) knowingly informed him, "That's the pace car."
On a flight, a line of travellers was waiting for the one and only washroom to be free. The minutes dragged on, the line didn't move, and no one said a word. Suddenly, a middle-aged woman pushed through the crowd, rapped sharply on the door and spoke with loud authority. "Time's up! We've got a line out here!" The door opened promptly and a scowling young woman exited. As the next person lunged in, a voice from the line respectfully asked, "Ma'a, are you in the army?" "No," she shot bak. "I'm from New York."
On the last night of their cruise, the young newlyweds had to pack by midnight. While returning to their stateroom to tackle the task, they met an older man sitting on the floor in the hallway. "Are you alright?" the young man asked. "Yes, I'm just helping," he replied. The couple glanced up and down the hall and saw nothing. The man noticed their puzzled look and elaborated, "She's in there packing, and I'm staying out of the way."
One irate woman stormed the post office. "What's the trouble?" she was asked. "I went out this morning," she began, "and when I came home I found a card saying the mailman had tried to deliver a package but no one was home. My husband was in all morning. He never heard a thing!" After apologizing, the postman got her package. "Oh, good," she gushed. "We've been waiting for this for ages." "What is it?" he asked. "My husband's new hearing aid."
The surgeon in a small hospital was engrossed in an operation to find the cause of a patient's abdominal distress. When the drawstring of his green scrubs came undone, his pants slid to the floor, displaying bright polka-dot boxer shorts. He knew that his colleague, a circulating nurse, couldn't fail to notice. Wryly, he drawled, "This patient is scaring the pants off me!"
... and the daily:
After mistakenly leaving a hearing aid in the pocket of the shirt, the shirt was sent through the washer. A call was given to the hearing centre to see if the drowned apparatus could be fixed. "Dry it thoroughly," the receptionist instructed, "then bring it in." "Oh, that's no problem! I put it in the dryer, too."
After the funeral, the family proceeded to the cemetery. A six-year-old noticed the funeral director's car leading the way. "Why does that car have a flashing light on its roof?" he asked. His ten-year-old cousin (an F1 fan) knowingly informed him, "That's the pace car."
On a flight, a line of travellers was waiting for the one and only washroom to be free. The minutes dragged on, the line didn't move, and no one said a word. Suddenly, a middle-aged woman pushed through the crowd, rapped sharply on the door and spoke with loud authority. "Time's up! We've got a line out here!" The door opened promptly and a scowling young woman exited. As the next person lunged in, a voice from the line respectfully asked, "Ma'a, are you in the army?" "No," she shot bak. "I'm from New York."
On the last night of their cruise, the young newlyweds had to pack by midnight. While returning to their stateroom to tackle the task, they met an older man sitting on the floor in the hallway. "Are you alright?" the young man asked. "Yes, I'm just helping," he replied. The couple glanced up and down the hall and saw nothing. The man noticed their puzzled look and elaborated, "She's in there packing, and I'm staying out of the way."
One irate woman stormed the post office. "What's the trouble?" she was asked. "I went out this morning," she began, "and when I came home I found a card saying the mailman had tried to deliver a package but no one was home. My husband was in all morning. He never heard a thing!" After apologizing, the postman got her package. "Oh, good," she gushed. "We've been waiting for this for ages." "What is it?" he asked. "My husband's new hearing aid."
The surgeon in a small hospital was engrossed in an operation to find the cause of a patient's abdominal distress. When the drawstring of his green scrubs came undone, his pants slid to the floor, displaying bright polka-dot boxer shorts. He knew that his colleague, a circulating nurse, couldn't fail to notice. Wryly, he drawled, "This patient is scaring the pants off me!"
... and the daily:
