What a funny world. The universal funny bone:
- India
One woman to another at a dinner party:
“Where’s that beautiful girl who was serving drink?”
“What do you want? The girl or a drink?”
“Neither. I’m searching for my husband.”
- Poland
The count’s footman enters the solon and says:
“Count, sir, a beggar has come who says he’s your close relative and can prove it.”
“It must be some idiot.”
“I thought so, too. But that’s not enough to prove kinship.”
- Great Britain:
David Beckham walks into a library and says:
“A cheeseburger and fries, please.”
The librarian looks puzzled and replies,
“You do realize you’re in a library?”
“Sorry,” whispers Beckham. “A cheeseburger and fries, please.”
- Hungary
A globetrotter arrives at customs with a parrot. The customs officer goes through the regulations out loud:
“Live parrot, two thousand forints; stuffed parrot, duty-free.”
At which the parrot exclaims, “Hey, people, don’t do anything crazy!”
- Germany
Two politicians are standing in front of a store window. The first one says, “The people are always complaining about how expensive everything is. But they’re wrong. Just look at these prices – 15 euros for a suit, ten for a pair of pants, five for a shirt, eight for a dress.” The other one hisses: “Take a closer look. This is a dry cleaner’s.”
- Australia
“What happened with that girl I introduced you to at the dance?” Bert asks his friend George.
“Nothing,” George replies sadly. “I asked her four times if I could see her home, and she said that if I was that keen, she’d fax me a photo of her house.”
- Sweden
The boss is disappointed with his new secretary because she ignores the ringing phone most of the time. “You have to answer the phone,” he tells her.
“But what’s the point?” she replies. “Nine times out of ten, the calls are for you.”
- Czech Republic
A repairman comes to the hospital’s Intensive Care Unit, looks at the patients hoked to various life-support machines and says, “Now, everybody, inhale deeply. I’m going to change the fuse.”
- France
In a large department store, a man is wandering around like a lost puppy, threading back and forth between the departments. He’s so preoccupied that he bumps into another man, who seems to be equally lost.
“Excuse me, sir, I must have been distracted. I’m looking for my wife.”
“No kidding? Me, too. I seem to have lost mine here somewhere! What does your wife look like?”
“She’s a beautiful, blue-eyed blonde, about five foot eight, with a very charming smile, and she’s wearing a miniskirt and low-cut blouse. And what about your wife?”
“Forget my wife, let’s look for yours!”
- Brazil
A guy’s driving his motorbike at 120km/h along an empty road when he suddenly hits a bird. Looking n his mirror, he sees the poor bird rolling around on the ground. Feeling full of remorse, he stops his bike and goes back to help the bird, who’s unconscious and almost dead. Upset, he picks the little creature up, buys a cage and brings it home, making sure to put a little bit of bread and water in the cage for the bird. The next day the bird recovers consciousness. Looking around at the bars of the cage, the piece of bread and the pot of water, he exclaims, “Oh, my God! I killed the poor biker!”
- Hong Kong
Father: “Remember this, my child. Success depends on honesty and wisdom.”
Child: “But what is honesty?”
Father: “Honesty is keeping your promises.”
Child: “What is wisdom, then?”
Father: “Making no promises at all.”
- Mexico:
On a crowded bus a drunkard asks,
“Who lost a wad of 100-peso bills with a rubber band around it?”
“I did!” says a man immediately.
“Well,” replies the drunkard, “I found the rubber band.”
- Russia
Two women meet over a cup of coffee. One says,
“We’ve been married for almost two years now and haven’t quarreled once. Even if we disagree about something and I’m right, my husband always agrees with me.”
“And when he’s right and you’re wrong?”
“That hasn’t happened so far.”
I just didn't want to take the time! LOL Since it was yours, I figured you'd know right where it was. 
