Haven't updated in a while, so here's all the latest news.
My back problems continue. I was in excruciating pain from just after Christmas to about the end of February, and then it gradually went away. I had acupuncture treatment, and I think that helped.
My doctor, however, insists that I need surgery. Laminectomy for the pinched nerve root, and fusion for the dislocated vertebra.
For sure the fusion surgery would end my practicing aikido ever again. While we do have someone in the dojo who has had fusion surgery, he's a much younger individual than I am, and healed well. I'm not so young, and healing is not something I do well. And it takes a year to recover from the fusion surgery; at my age, taking a year off aikido would pretty much finish me. I'd never be able to get back what I'd lose over the year.
So, I have choice: go through painful periods and continue to practice, or have the surgery and give up aikido.
I'm looking into alternatives because I don't believe this particular surgery will do me one bit of good. There's another procedure, called laminoscopy, that's less invasive than a laminectomy, which I might agree to; and there's also experimental disk replacement surgery, which I'll only consider having done once I've gone as far as I can in aikido and can no longer practice it. But, forget the fusion surgery. Everything I've read about it and the anecdotal stories about what happens post-surgery tells me it's the wrong thing for me. There's a 25% failure rate, requiring a second surgery to put right; there's no guarantee the pain will go away (which is the reason for having it); and it will produce reduced mobility, not something I need more of, thank you very much.
On the aikido front, I am continuing to practice, back problems notwithstanding (actually, aikido really helps with my back problems). We were supposed to have a seminar, but the visiting sensei's flight got cancelled due to weather so we had "fill-in" senseis from around town teaching. That was fun. I actually performed a perfectly acceptable and properly executed forward roll (they seem to be happening more often lately, though only on one side at the moment), so I'm hopeful this is something I'll continue to improve in.
Now being considered as a "senior" student, I'm obligated to work with the new students. The good news is we have quite a crop of new students this year and many of them are continuing past the initial 3-month period. The bad news is, my own practice is suffering because I'm not working with students more senior to myself, and so my own progress in techniques is starting to suffer.
Last night I was working with a 6th-kyu student, someone I was never comfortable practicing with. He's six-foot-plus, about 230 lbs, and strong as an ox. I don't have sufficient skill yet to deal with his physical strength with proper application of technique. At the same time, he is someone who refuses to let go of his physical strength; working with him last night, he came very close to breaking my arm from the brute strength he was applying to it, and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. I slapped the mat, I slapped my leg, anything to get him to stop, and he would not stop (mostly because he doesn't pay attention to the "stop slap").
I was so rattled, I did something extremely rude. I walked away from him.
I did go to the sensei teaching the class and told him I could not work with this guy, and then I went into the ladies' room to calm myself down. I was trying to figure out what it was I was feeling: rage at the inadequacy of my weakness, my inability to execute technique well enough so that he could use his strength against me, the utter feeling of helplessness when I couldn't get him to acknowledge my request to stop, knowing that no matter what I did, he had complete control over me because he had something I didn't - brute strength, and I didn't have what I needed - good technique to counter brute strength - it was all these things.
A couple of weeks ago, I asked the sensei who teaches the advanced class on Sundays if I could join his class with the caution that I can't be bounced around like the black belts (usually, the prerequisite/restriction for this class is 5th kyu and "good ukemi" and while I'm 4th kyu, my ukemi is not good by a long shot). He agreed to let me join the class; so this Sunday, I'll be on the mat with the senior students and black belts.
I'm not going to let that big guy intimidate me again. I'm going to practice with senior students and black belts until I'm no longer afraid of him and what he can do to me with his brute strength. And by then, it won't matter (I hope!).
Oh, and I'm going to take my 3rd kyu test in June. If my back lets me.