Laughter is the best medicine!
- Thread starter yudansha
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Storm
Smile dammit!
This is funny but a true story. I was working on a paper shop owned by an Asian family. I had just glossed the doors when one of their relatives,a big guy in a cashmere coat walked straight into it! His coat was covered in it.He was swearing and going mad,in his own language mainly.
My response was "come back in an hour and i'll give it a 2nd coat!". If he'd have been nice i'd have cleaned it off with white spirit.
My response was "come back in an hour and i'll give it a 2nd coat!". If he'd have been nice i'd have cleaned it off with white spirit.
yudansha
TheGreatOne
"Start Me Up" "Don't Stop" .. why? cause "It's Only Rock'n'Roll".. & u know the rest
LOL Serena OMG you're a genius ... just like Amos and Tora with those smart jokes. Thank you very much ... now if I get some money for winning that contest and if you ask me to share the winnings since you provided me with the 'answer' I'll tell you to listen to Mick Jagger again ... "You Can't Always Get What You Want" ... and then if you get mad at me, perhaps you can listen to and then have some "Sympathy For The Devil" ... and if you're still hissing and spitting various words or phrases at me after that, I'll tell you to "get off MY cloud" and "It's All Over Now." :=))
Julie it's good of you to join this thread and contribute your very funny joke. Well done and as Rolling Stones put it so well: "Don't Stop."
LOL Serena OMG you're a genius ... just like Amos and Tora with those smart jokes. Thank you very much ... now if I get some money for winning that contest and if you ask me to share the winnings since you provided me with the 'answer' I'll tell you to listen to Mick Jagger again ... "You Can't Always Get What You Want" ... and then if you get mad at me, perhaps you can listen to and then have some "Sympathy For The Devil" ... and if you're still hissing and spitting various words or phrases at me after that, I'll tell you to "get off MY cloud" and "It's All Over Now." :=))
Julie it's good of you to join this thread and contribute your very funny joke. Well done and as Rolling Stones put it so well: "Don't Stop."
Dammit,eyes start rolling...
Jules
Potters Clay
Here is a joke someone e-mailed me. (not for the squeamish!)
As I was trying to pack for vacation, my 3-year-old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed.
At one point, she said, "Mom, look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers. Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her fingers in my mouth and said, "Mommy gonna eat your fingers!"... Pretending to eat them before I rushed out of the room again.
When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.
I said, "What's wrong honey?"
She replied, "What happened to my booger?"
As I was trying to pack for vacation, my 3-year-old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed.
At one point, she said, "Mom, look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers. Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her fingers in my mouth and said, "Mommy gonna eat your fingers!"... Pretending to eat them before I rushed out of the room again.
When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.
I said, "What's wrong honey?"
She replied, "What happened to my booger?"
Jules
Potters Clay
What Not To Say To A Cop
1.)I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2.)Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3.)Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4.)Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5.)Are you Andy or Barney?
6.)I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7.)You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8.)I pay your salary!
9.)Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
My nephew is working on being a police officer. He got a chuckle from these. I got a raised eyebrow over the first one because we do not drink alcohol.
1.)I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2.)Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3.)Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4.)Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5.)Are you Andy or Barney?
6.)I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7.)You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8.)I pay your salary!
9.)Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
My nephew is working on being a police officer. He got a chuckle from these. I got a raised eyebrow over the first one because we do not drink alcohol.
ORANGATUANG
Wildfire
lol...thanks Julie cops and i dont mix real well iam afraid iam too much of a bad girl, (nothing bad,just something silly when i was younger)..iam still a bad girl but you know that huh?..Heather..(and i aint gonna tell)..
yudansha
TheGreatOne
Uploading pictures...
To put in pictures:
If you are transferring them from your computer's harddrive (pictures stored on your PC) - then click on 'Manage Attachments' below the screen that you use to type in your post; then when a pop-up window comes up, click on 'Browse' and select the location on your computer where the file with the pictures is located; select that file and click 'Open' then click 'Upload' (the button beside 'Browse') as the window opened by clicking 'Browse' disappears. You have to wait awhile for the file to upload (the limit of file is no more than 293kb in size otherwise it is not permitted for you to load such a file as per website's settings); Once the file uploads, click 'Close Window' (to finish your post and 'Submit Reply') or 'Browse' again if you want to upload another picture within the same post.
If you want to post the picture you found on the internet then:
type in this:
instead of "..." between
you have to insert the URL (the site) of the picture (not the site where you found the picture). Make sure not to put any spaces. To get the site of the picture: right click on the picture you are interested in and click 'Properties' (at the bottom of the list); then a pop-up window of Properties comes up and in the center of the window, there is the Address (URL) of that picture (usually starts with "http://www." and ends with ".gif").
Good luck ... keep you cool, don't get discouraged to try again, and have control over that hammer :=)
This may also help: http://www.steven-seagal.net/forum/misc.php?do=bbcode
To put in pictures:
If you are transferring them from your computer's harddrive (pictures stored on your PC) - then click on 'Manage Attachments' below the screen that you use to type in your post; then when a pop-up window comes up, click on 'Browse' and select the location on your computer where the file with the pictures is located; select that file and click 'Open' then click 'Upload' (the button beside 'Browse') as the window opened by clicking 'Browse' disappears. You have to wait awhile for the file to upload (the limit of file is no more than 293kb in size otherwise it is not permitted for you to load such a file as per website's settings); Once the file uploads, click 'Close Window' (to finish your post and 'Submit Reply') or 'Browse' again if you want to upload another picture within the same post.
If you want to post the picture you found on the internet then:
type in this:
instead of "..." between
Good luck ... keep you cool, don't get discouraged to try again, and have control over that hammer :=)
This may also help: http://www.steven-seagal.net/forum/misc.php?do=bbcode
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