Could my luck be changing?

[Sandie-Jo]

Hi! I really hope that you have some good news, soon, and I hope that things will go well for your Father.
"clearing" out the unnecessary might be therapeutic, just don't go over board,..LOL
Serena, I loved your post, was very helpful to me today,.

 

[Serena]

Hi! I really hope that you have some good news, soon, and I hope that things will go well for your Father.
"clearing" out the unnecessary might be therapeutic, just don't go over board,..LOL

Serena, I loved your post, was very helpful to me today,.

Thanks, Sandi-Jo; I'm glad you found it helpful. I know there are a few people around here going through a rough time right now. Hopefully it can give them a bit of comfort, as well.

 

[TDWoj]

"clearing" out the unnecessary might be therapeutic, just don't go over board,..LOL
QUOTE]

Trust me, "overboard" would hardly scratch the surface. I'm the worst pack-rat, and it's all the environmentalists' fault. No, really! I hate throwing anything out if there's the slightest chance I might get some more use out of it, even if I haven't used it in ages. I've decided that the time has come to get over David Suzuki (Canadian tv personality, big on environmental issues) and to THROW STUFF OUT if I'm not using it or don't really need it. Cleverly, though, I am not putting the items directly into the trash, I'm just leaving it beside the trash. I guarantee most of it will be gone by nightfall. And no, I'm not waiting for the next time our building has a yard sale and make a little cash on the side - it's got to go now!

Also, it doesn't help that I'm a collector - books, Star Wars and Star Trek toys, videos, cds and now dvds, teacups and saucers and wineglasses and glass tumblers which strike my fancy (not sets; never sets, guaranteed to break one immediately, so I just find singles that interest me, like depression glass, or blown glass); not to mention my hobbies, like sewing quilts (all sewn by hand not by machine, I should point out) and knitting sweaters and blankets and baby clothes for my friends. The latter, especially the quilting, takes up a LOT of space. I have a quilt I'm making for a friend right now that has pretty much taken over my living room, and I need to get it finished before Christmas or there won't be any place to put my Christmas tree! Then there are two more quilts waiting to be quilted, and one more only partly pieced that need to be done. Yikes!

Discarding all the unnecessary stuff that I've allowed to accumulate over the years that seems to possess me more than I possess it, and finishing projects begun and set aside for too long, will be like running my soul through the washer, I think.

-TD, only mildly obsessive compulsive

 

[TDWoj]

And to add insult to injury, the sink in the bathroom has just sprung a leak.

If it weren't for bad luck....

-TD, wondering if the day is going to get any worse

 

[Amos Stevens]

Well maybe the water will wash all your problems away-and if a cute plumber shows up that would be a good thing

 

[Lotussan]

TD, have I missed something? I am soooo sorry, is something the matter
with your father? I try to keep up with all the posts, but even I get lost here sometimes, I didn't know...
I hope that he is ok, and that you are too...
Blessings to you both...
This fire has really got my head confused....

 

[Lotussan]

Dear TD, I am soooo sorry! But don't worry, I am sure he will be fine, at age 89, surgery might be a little harder, but I am sure they are considering all the possiblities...My father had radiation therapy, is that an option for your father?
Surprisingly, my father had very little in the way of complications...
In any case I hope that everything goes well...It's a scary situation, but it is a slow growing thing in most cases...They say that most men that get it usually never know, and usually something else is usually more affecting...
Good Luck, and blessings to you...If you want to talk, PM me anytime, and try not to worry...Again, I apologize for overlooking the thread, I feel really bad...Hang in there, dear...

 

[TDWoj]

Well maybe the water will wash all your problems away-and if a cute plumber shows up that would be a good thing

Not a chance. It'll be the husband of the building administrator who is our handyman that'll be up to fix it. My only hope is that the problem will be beyond repair and they'll have to install a new sink - one with a vanity. It's a nuisance not having anywhere to store my, um, personal stuff and have all the world and his brother see what girls use in the bathroom.

In other news, the cleaning out of stuff is going well, if slowly. I cannot believe how much dust has gotten into the corners... no wonder I can't breathe. I took down one of my filing cabinets today to the garbage area, and within an hour someone had come and scooped it up. At least someone is going to get some use out of it (guilt somewhat assuaged).

I still have 10 years' worth of accumulated work-related stuff to sort through. What was this rumour I heard of the paperless office? Yeah, right.

-TD, tree-killer extraordinaire

 

[TDWoj]

Dear TD, I am soooo sorry! But don't worry, I am sure he will be fine, at age 89, surgery might be a little harder, but I am sure they are considering all the possiblities...My father had radiation therapy, is that an option for your father?
Surprisingly, my father had very little in the way of complications...
In any case I hope that everything goes well...It's a scary situation, but it is a slow growing thing in most cases...They say that most men that get it usually never know, and usually something else is usually more affecting...
Good Luck, and blessings to you...If you want to talk, PM me anytime, and try not to worry...Again, I apologize for overlooking the thread, I feel really bad...Hang in there, dear...

Thanks, Lotus. From what he's told me, they're either just going to snip off his testicles or remove the affected area (depending on how big and involved it is), and, if the cancer hasn't spread, that'll be that. As he puts it, "what do I need them for, at my age?". He seems pretty sanguine about it. Of course, with my dad, you can't really tell. He's pretty good at denial.

The trouble is, with his depressed immune system (too many years taking too many antibiotics), I think infection will be the bigger worry.

As I said, I can't do anything about it, being half a continent away, so I am putting this out of my immediate scope of worry. When it comes time for the surgery, I'll address it then.

All good wishes and prayers gratefully accepted, however. And thanks to all for your kind words and thoughts.

 

[Jalu]

TD,

I've been meaning to tell you.... It'd be good to consider not getting the surgery (get a second opinion first), if the cancer is not affecting him othewise. A surgery can be detrimental for a person of his age and condition. I had a college professor/ Doctor who told us that because cancer grows faster in younger people they might need surgery, but in the case of an older person it might be different. He told us he'd not have a surgery if he was ever diagnosed w/ prostate cancer at his age( he was in his 60s). Older people can die of natural causes (sorry) before the cancer develops. Now... if he had it for a long time, and just recently found out about it it's a different story. I'd definitely get a second opinion...complications are a concern in his case.

Hope things work out....

 

[Serena]

Hey, TD. Sorry you're having a crummy day. These are just what the doctor (or nurse, in this case) ordered:

CAN'T HURT, ANYWAY!!

 

[TDWoj]

TD,

I've been meaning to tell you.... It'd be good to consider not getting the surgery (get a second opinion first), if the cancer is not affecting him othewise. A surgery can be detrimental for a person of his age and condition. I had a college professor/ Doctor who told us that because cancer grows faster in younger people they might need surgery, but in the case of an older person it might be different. He told us he'd not have a surgery if he was ever diagnosed w/ prostate cancer at his age( he was in his 60s). Older people can die of natural causes (sorry) before the cancer develops. Now... if he had it for a long time, and just recently found out about it it's a different story. I'd definitely get a second opinion...complications are a concern in his case.

Hope things work out....

My father wants the surgery because the discomfort is too much for him. He gets kidney stones regularly as well, and he can just barely handle that. The discomfort from the prostate cancer, that on top of the other, he just doesn't want to deal with. He's willing to take the risk, and I've learned from long experience not to try and persuade him otherwise because that just makes him dig his heels in.

 

[TDWoj]

Hey, TD. Sorry you're having a crummy day. These are just what the doctor (or nurse, in this case) ordered:

CAN'T HURT, ANYWAY!!

Thanks for the bouquets! They've made my day brighter, for sure! And virtual cookies... mmmmmmm....

 

[Storm]

I've just read this thread for the first time and all i can say is i hope things get better soon. You made the right decision about your flat. You are still on the list and maybe they'll offer you one that doesn't smell and your finances improve.
I would think surgery is not advisable at your dad's age but if he feels he wants it he may,as you say dig his heels in.The trouble with the net is it's just a screen and we can't see what hardships you face but you are strong,and you'll get it right.All i can do is wish you a luxurious apartment!

 

[TDWoj]

I've just read this thread for the first time and all i can say is i hope things get better soon. You made the right decision about your flat. You are still on the list and maybe they'll offer you one that doesn't smell and your finances improve.
I would think surgery is not advisable at your dad's age but if he feels he wants it he may,as you say dig his heels in.The trouble with the net is it's just a screen and we can't see what hardships you face but you are strong,and you'll get it right.All i can do is wish you a luxurious apartment!

What pretty flowers - thanks, Storm!

I spoke to my father today. Seems the hospital wants him in sooner rather than later. He's going in on the 20th for something called a T.U.R.P., which does not take the whole works, as it were, but just the affected bits. Can any of the medical pros herein tell me what that's about? He says it's day surgery, but he may be in the hospital for at least three days before they send him home (and to the tender mercies of the home care nurses).

I can't help worrying, of course. My father is really the only family I have (other than a few assorted cousins to whom I wouldn't give the time of day, nor would most of them bother to ask, unless there was money involved) and knowing at some point I'm going to be completely alone in the world does freak me out when I pause to think about it.

I could use a luxurious apartment right about now. I just saw one of those home design programs where they decorated a place belonging to a sweet young thing just fresh out of university, describing it as "her first condo". It was easily three times the size of the place I've got now, and she barely 22 years old can afford such a place? I was simply floored when I saw it. I've been working over 25 years and I still haven't been able to achieve anything like the size of this little lass's "first condo". It ain't fair!

-TD, despondent about her circumstances, worried about her dad, unable to find work for November and December, and not sure what to do about any of it

 

[Lotussan]

TD, my sympathies about your dad...
Here is a site about TURP that looks informative, but I thought this was for
non cancerous enlargements? My dad had it done a long time ago before his diagnosis...

From what I know it's a very,very,common procedure....

Anyway, hope you find this link helpful...

http://home1.gte.net/keenie/turp/


Keep the faith!
And as for the apartment, just remember, you can't rightly do anything until you can afford it, or you will be having worse financial problems, so hang in there...
At least you are independent and living as your own boss!

 

[Amos Stevens]

TD; everyone would like a nicier place to live-we just have to make the best of what we got at the time.
I do hope the best for you & your father..the longer he is in the hospital under proper care the better

 

[TDWoj]

TD, my sympathies about your dad...
Here is a site about TURP that looks informative, but I thought this was for
non cancerous enlargements? My dad had it done a long time ago before his diagnosis...

From what I know it's a very,very,common procedure....

Anyway, hope you find this link helpful...

http://home1.gte.net/keenie/turp/


Keep the faith!
And as for the apartment, just remember, you can't rightly do anything until you can afford it, or you will be having worse financial problems, so hang in there...
At least you are independent and living as your own boss!

Thanks for the link, Lotus, it was very helpful.

I'm only going by what my father told me, and as he's 89 years old, he probably doesn't get the information quite right from the doctor. From what he told me today, he says that TURP is the procedure he's going to have, and they're going to test the stuff they scrape out for cancer. So I'm not as worried as I was that it is cancer, rather that it's merely an enlarged prostate because of his age, because I'm thinking he got the info wrong from the doctor if all they're doing is a TURP.

Either way, I'm more concerned with infection. He's just getting over a serious bladder infection from the exam he just had, and now they're going to stick another tube up his, um, tube (sorry guys - TD picturing all the guys suddenly crossing their legs and moaning - but this is what you've got to look forward to should you reach nearly nonagenarian status, so better get your minds wrapped around this early) and exposing him to even more infection.

And yes - I like being independent, but it would help if I had more work....

-TD, not knowing what the heck is going on any more and getting into even more of a tizzy

 

[TDWoj]

TD; everyone would like a nicier place to live-we just have to make the best of what we got at the time.

You're right, of course. That's why I am launching a full forward attack on the clutter monster and dust rhinoceroi (cough, hack, wheeze). At least with the clutter reduced, I should be able to find things. No, wait - this from the mistress of putting things into "safe" places and never being able to find them again....

I'm thinking maybe I should set up an account on eBay and sell some of my treasures and collections. (No! Not my die-cast model of the original series Enterprise with the 22 carat gold deflector plate and removable shuttle and bridge! Wait! That's a TRIBBLE! You can't sell that - you have no idea what it'll do to the environment! <men in white coats drag TD kicking and screaming away, her Captain Kirk doll clutched in her arms>.) There is such a thing as being too enthusiastic a collector. Yes, yes, I know; being a collector is really having a deep psychological need to have something as a substitute for having a life and real relationships. Pathetic, much.

I do hope the best for you & your father..the longer he is in the hospital under proper care the better

He's not done torturing me yet, for sure. Don't get me wrong, I love my dad, but he's the main reason I haven't done anything useful with my life (complicated story which I'm not keen to discuss in a public forum), and why, at almost 46 years of age, I haven't got a mate.

-TD, hounded by demons

 

[Serena]

Hey, TD. Sorry I didn't respond earlier--worked a double shift from yesterday afternoon and just got home. Regarding your father; Lotus is correct (btw-good link, Lotus). TURP (transurethral resection of the prostate) is a VERY common procedure for men with an enlarged prostate and the difficulties that can produce. However, it is also performed on men with prostate cancer who, due to age and/or other medical conditions, are unable to undergo a radical prostatectomy.

Here is a link from the National Institutes of Health (one we recommend at work) that I think you will find particularly helpful and maybe a little encouraging, as well. There is also a mini "tutorial" that explains the procedure itself. If you have any particular questions, send me a PM and I will be more than glad to answer them, if I can.

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/prostatecancer.html

...knowing at some point I'm going to be completely alone in the world does freak me out when I pause to think about it.

TD, don't worry about being alone. We may not be blood, but we are family--maybe a little dysfunctional, sometimes --but still family. - Serena.