yudansha
TheGreatOne
I'm only here for this post.
... just needed a little break and this thread seemed like it wanted my attention
That P.S. letter ... LOL so typical
Storm all those 'clean' jokes ... they will surely be passed around tomorrow at school! (good way to break some of the stress that seemed to have become an epidemic around the campus)
Thanks for the laughs. It was time certainly well wasted!
My turn!
This breakthrough has been flowing around the internet for a few weeks now. Those of you who miraculously missed it, can read this amazing discovery for yourselves right now!
A must read diet.
Q. I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it. Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass, a green leafy vegetable. And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable slop.
Q: Is beer or wine bad for me?
A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables. As we all know, scientists divide everything in the world into three categories: animal, mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer and wine are not animal or mineral, so that only leaves one thing, right? My advice: Have a burger and a beer and enjoy your vegetables.
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good.
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: You're not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Is swimming good for you?
A: If it was, then how do you explain whales?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO ..... Cocoa beans.....another vegetable!!! "It's the best feel-good food around!" Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. Have a cookie...
One more thing... "When life hands you lemons, ask for tequila and salt !!"
Here are some of the pics you might enjoy, too.
Take care.
(P.S. I'll try to come to the Friday chat ... this Friday ... but if I don't show up, don't be yelling at me ... as I won't be there to hear you)
... just needed a little break and this thread seemed like it wanted my attention
That P.S. letter ... LOL so typical
Storm all those 'clean' jokes ... they will surely be passed around tomorrow at school!
(good way to break some of the stress that seemed to have become an epidemic around the campus)Thanks for the laughs. It was time certainly well wasted!
My turn!
This breakthrough has been flowing around the internet for a few weeks now. Those of you who miraculously missed it, can read this amazing discovery for yourselves right now!
A must read diet.
Q. I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it. Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass, a green leafy vegetable. And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable slop.
Q: Is beer or wine bad for me?
A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables. As we all know, scientists divide everything in the world into three categories: animal, mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer and wine are not animal or mineral, so that only leaves one thing, right? My advice: Have a burger and a beer and enjoy your vegetables.
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good.
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: You're not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Is swimming good for you?
A: If it was, then how do you explain whales?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO ..... Cocoa beans.....another vegetable!!! "It's the best feel-good food around!" Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. Have a cookie...
One more thing... "When life hands you lemons, ask for tequila and salt !!"
Here are some of the pics you might enjoy, too.
Take care.
(P.S. I'll try to come to the Friday chat ... this Friday ... but if I don't show up, don't be yelling at me ... as I won't be there to hear you
)
Well, this fits perfectly into my way of thinking! 
