Laughter is the best medicine!
- Thread starter yudansha
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tora
Funmaker
Wild West.Wilderness.A woman put her kids to bed.In 5 minutes she hears a scream.She runs into the room.
"What's wrong?"
"Bob says if I fall asleep a hungry grizzly will eat me up"
"Don't you worry.There's not a single grizzly here 20 miles around.Rest in piece."
Everybody calmed down.She left.In 10 minutes she hears a dreadful scream again.
She rushes into the room.
"What happened?"
"Bob says a hungry grizzly passes 20 miles in 10 minutes."
"What's wrong?"
"Bob says if I fall asleep a hungry grizzly will eat me up"
"Don't you worry.There's not a single grizzly here 20 miles around.Rest in piece."
Everybody calmed down.She left.In 10 minutes she hears a dreadful scream again.
She rushes into the room.
"What happened?"
"Bob says a hungry grizzly passes 20 miles in 10 minutes."
tora
Funmaker
There were two men with the same last name and they lived in the same house.Once one died and the other one went to Africa.When he arrived in there he decided to send his wife a telegram.But a mailman confused the addresses and gave it to the widow.Reading that she fainted.The telegram said:Arrived safely,such a heat here.
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One dude was tortured by the cockroaches,he talked to his friend who told him,"You go home and shout "No food,no food!"-he did so.The other night he went to bed and woke up from a strange noise,opened his eyes and saw a crowd of cockroaches,they tell him "Hey dude,we've brought you some food!"
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One dude was tortured by the cockroaches,he talked to his friend who told him,"You go home and shout "No food,no food!"-he did so.The other night he went to bed and woke up from a strange noise,opened his eyes and saw a crowd of cockroaches,they tell him "Hey dude,we've brought you some food!"
Amos Stevens
New Member
You're welcome Serena!
Thanks Tora for all your funny photos & jokes-well most of them anyways
Thanks Tora for all your funny photos & jokes-well most of them anyways
Jules
Potters Clay
Sir Galahad, in full-dress armor, came riding along a dusty road one hot day. He spied an ice-cream stand, stopped and ordered a double-dip pistachio. Up rode Sir Lancelot, who asked for the same thing. The counterman refused.
"Why can't you serve me?" Lancelot thundered.
"Because," said the counterman, "this is a one-knight stand."
"Why can't you serve me?" Lancelot thundered.
"Because," said the counterman, "this is a one-knight stand."
ORANGATUANG
Wildfire
Ohhh Julie i must jot this one down it is very funny an couple of the girls at school will love this one...i just about laughed my knickers off ..(i did say just about)...
yudansha
TheGreatOne
Amos that was hilarious - the icon story .. mess with diablo and he'll squeeze you in
"HOW TO BE ANNOYING--Part 1:" - funny stuff Serena! (oh and I think that joke about men and beer was... just shows how much work you women require ... with us, it's simple bada boom bada bing and you're done
)
This is hilarious!!! I'll use it in my movie if you don't mind. ~ Sit in your yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
~ Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." ... easy way to confuse Paris Hilton if she was to work at McD's in that Simple Life episode
~ Sing along at the opera.
And pretend it's a Britney Spears song.
~ Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
I don't wanna get slapped ... but yeah, that's representative of women...
~ Say "Gesundteit" to people who don't sneeze. When they question you tell them that you foresaw a sneeze coming.
And then watch them sneeze in your face. Their excuse: "But I thought you'd foresee this, too."
~ Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the cartridge across the room.
And what if it hits somebody's birthmark?
Good jokes guys and gals!
Now time for me to hit the gym. I'll be back in a few weeks.
"HOW TO BE ANNOYING--Part 1:" - funny stuff Serena! (oh and I think that joke about men and beer was... just shows how much work you women require ... with us, it's simple bada boom bada bing and you're done
)This is hilarious!!! I'll use it in my movie if you don't mind. ~ Sit in your yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
~ Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." ... easy way to confuse Paris Hilton if she was to work at McD's in that Simple Life episode
~ Sing along at the opera.
And pretend it's a Britney Spears song.
~ Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
I don't wanna get slapped ... but yeah, that's representative of women...
~ Say "Gesundteit" to people who don't sneeze. When they question you tell them that you foresaw a sneeze coming.
And then watch them sneeze in your face. Their excuse: "But I thought you'd foresee this, too."
~ Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the cartridge across the room.
And what if it hits somebody's birthmark?
Good jokes guys and gals!
Now time for me to hit the gym. I'll be back in a few weeks.
yudansha said:"HOW TO BE ANNOYING--Part 1:" - funny stuff Serena! (oh and I think that joke about men and beer was... just shows how much work you women require ... with us, it's simple bada boom bada bing and you're done
As usual, your comebacks were funnier than the original quotes! Paris Hilton and the sneeze one were very funny!
They all were, really, except the "representative of women". 
I have more of these, so check on your next visit back! 
Good to see you, even for a minute. 
Jules
Potters Clay
Farmer Jack watched two men park their truck on the side of the road. One man got out and dug a hole, then moved a few feet and dug another. The other man followed, filling in each of the holes.
The farmer called, "What's going on with all the digging?"
"We work for the county," one of the men said.
"I see that, but one of you is digging a hole and the other is filling it. You're just wasting my tax money."
"No, we're not," the worker replied. "Normally there's three of us: me, Rodney and Mike. I dig the hole, Rodney stcks in the tree and Mike puts the dirt back."
"Yep," piped up Mike. "And just because Rodney's sick, that doesn't mean we shouldn't earn our keep, now does it?"
The farmer called, "What's going on with all the digging?"
"We work for the county," one of the men said.
"I see that, but one of you is digging a hole and the other is filling it. You're just wasting my tax money."
"No, we're not," the worker replied. "Normally there's three of us: me, Rodney and Mike. I dig the hole, Rodney stcks in the tree and Mike puts the dirt back."
"Yep," piped up Mike. "And just because Rodney's sick, that doesn't mean we shouldn't earn our keep, now does it?"
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