Submerged Review (Appologies For Wrong Place)
Here is my review for the WORST film in Steven Seagal history.
If for some reason you like dull, stupid, and pointless films, Submerged is the DVD for you. This movie was just plain terrible. I thought Into the Sun was terrible, but I was wrong...And even when I thought people were crazy for liking Into the Sun, I swear, if anybody says that they enjoyed this movie even a little bit, I'm checking you into a mental institution. I don't know how anybody could like this film! Tony Hickox...YOU SUCK! Your directing is straight up crap! I could find some random remedial 8 year old who can direct better than you.
But, the thing that really got to me was Steven Seagal. I mean, nothing against Seagal...But he was terrible. The writers didn't even give him the tough guy personality. And I'm mad because he's the one that looks bad.
For all the people who enjoy hearing Seagal getting his voice dubbed over, again, this is the DVD for you. Seagal's real voice is about 5% used in this film. Seagal is dubbed over by some 70 year old Bill Clinton who sounds like he just recovered from throat cancer, not joking! Seagal is dubbed over about 95% of this film, and when his real voice is used, you just want to cheer...Isn't there something wrong?
To add to that, the movie is titled Submerged and focuses on a submarine. The movie takes place on a submarine for a total of 50 minutes!!! Everything else takes place in a hispanic country (Bulgaria).
There is a total of 2, that's right, 2 action scenes. 1 of them is combat and is about 16 seconds long, and the other is part shooting and part combat (but this one is good - but short).
Here's a list of Positive and Negative:
Positive: Vinny Jones...'Nuff said.
Negative: Everything that doesn't invovle Vinny Jones (including Seagal). And yes, unfortunatley I'm DEAD serious. Seagal's role is pure crap and pure dubbing (as mentioned above). Seagal's covert team gets killed off within the first 40 minutes (and they're only on screen for 15 minutes).
Summary: The movie is just stalling. That's it, about 4/5 of this movie is pure waste of time. For example, there is a scene at an opera theater where Seagal is supposed to meet somebody important. 12 minutes of the film is back and fourth camera shots of the crowd clapping and some crap car chase.
I am really disapointed in this movie and Seagal, I mean he did nothing for me in this one. I feel like this movie is a waste of time and money. DO NOT BUY IT, whether you're curious or not, you're just going to end up very pissed and disapointed.
The only good thing that came out of this was Vinny Jones stealing the show. Good job...