thank you for your reply.
soul searching is good, healthy!
I did a lot during my lifetime.
Becamse some what of a Seeker, studied other religions and became a Catholic, pracitsed very hard then joined a 12 step program, Co-Dependents anonymous, that was the biggest break through for me. the 12 steps are what all the great religions propogate without the self whipping, they teach self acceptance which is the greatest gift of all.
everyone's soul searching is different as we are all different, I whish you all the best, it just means you want to become a better person, and that in itself is a gift.
Lots of love and peace,