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Seagal's Worst...

#61
voetballcanine said:
I think I have to make a point here. It's calling to me. None of Seagal's movies are "good" persay; well, good as in award worthy. But they are enjoyable, and good in the true sense of the word. Even his "bad" movies are great. In fact, the worse his movies are, the better they are. They become best-worst films. So in the end, Seagal doesn't actually have any bad movies. For the bad are so bad that they're good. Like Fulci Zombie movies, or the Evil Dead flicks.
Damn,Voetball,you always find the way out...:D
 

ZenLateralus

Disposition Seagal
#62
If I had to make a choice it would probably be OFAK. Second would be Executive Decision due to his lack of being in the movie. Third probably TF. Fourth, if I had to pick his fourth least great film, would probably be Ticker, though, I do like the movie very much and I find it to be more a story about knowing yourself and forgiving yourself, zen and love than an action movie. Maybe if you look at it for those values instead of for action you'd agree that it's not the least best of. I don't really remember OFAK though I do remember at laughing at how badly done some of it was (not on Seagal's part mind you). Maybe I'll rent it or see it again some day and decide to buy it, who knows? I saw that someone had written The Patriot a couple replies back. How could that movie be considered? I really like that movie and it may be my girlfriend's (fiancees) favorite. As a final note let me mention that just about everything that Seagal is in or has done is great just because of him and that he makes movies that might not have found there way into my life some of my most fav. Thanks :)
 

synesthesia

I never get hit
#63
Best review I have ever read

Half Past Dead

cert 15

Peter Bradshaw
Friday May 2, 2003
The Guardian


Steven Seagal is back! Look upon his fleshy neck, his dodgy hair and his strangely puffy immobile face, ye pantywaist liberals, and tremble!

Steven is back to kick ass, or as much ass as is consistent with his self-declared status as a reincarnated lama. Well, it looks like Seagal has ditched the orange robes for the less flattering black T-shirts and body armour.

He plays a tough guy mixed up in a prison siege situation necessitating sclerotic "action" spectacle and some close-quarter martial-arts blocking moves which look like a jersey-pulling contest between elderly transsexuals. T

he title refers to the fact that Steven, unstoppable hombre that he is, revives after being clinically dead for nearly half an hour. As someone impertinently puts it: "I heard you took a ride on the flatline for 22 minutes!" Steven's career's been riding the flatline longer than that.

----------------------------------------------------------------

I guess I'll give it a miss
 
#63
I am a Seagal fan and have seen all his movies.

It's hard to identify a 'worst film 'as so many were terrible. Certainly Submerged ranks up there because it makes absolutely no sense. Attack Force is one that fits too as the dubbing of Seagal's voice is absolutely frightful.

To give credit where credit is due, the testimony to Seagal's indurance is he can make so many bad films and still come up smelling like a rose.
 

Mason

Well-Known Member
#64
What do you think Seagal's WORST movie is??


;-)
You mean movies's! Unfortunatly he has made so many bad movies, there is not only one if you ask me.

Ticker.
Out Of Reach.
Black Dawn.
Submerged.
Mercenary For Justice.
Attack Force.
Shadow Man.
Out For A Kill.
The Foreigner.
Kill Switch.
Against The Dark.
Today You Die.
Born To Raise Hell.
True Justice.
Belly Of The Beast.
Flight Of Fury.

Yeah I know, there are many I dont like, but thats just me. We all have different taste.
 

Martin01

Well-Known Member
Staff member
#65
To be honest, there are maybe only two movies who are "pretty solid for a DTV" in my opinion:

Pistol Whipped
The Keeper

And some others who are "OK, but with some flaws":

Driven to kill
A Dangerous Man
Belly of the Beast

The ones who are not completely bad, but not good either:

Into the Sun
Urban Justice (way too dark)
Out of Reach
Born to raise hell (the fightscenes are at least pretty good)
True Justice

And the rest of the movies who are "bad" or even "very bad":

Attack Force (the worst one)
Ticker
The Foreigner
Black Dawn
Against the Dark
Flight of Fury
Shadow Man
Kill Switch
Today you die
Maximum Conviction
Submerged
Mercenary for Justice
Out for a kill
 

rastafari

Well-Known Member
#66
Seagal best STV are

Maximum Conviction
Belly of Beast
Urban Justice
Pistol Whipped
Driven to Kill
Dangerous Man
Into The Sun

the rest are awful IMO
 

rastafari

Well-Known Member
#68
I liked MC but i think it depends on how much you like like Steve Austin and dont mind Seagal not being in sections of the film...I can see why some people(seagal fans) dont like it


UJ although it is dark it is still one of his best STV films has Seagal takes centre stage and is in most of the film

I am not a big fan of The Keeper(ive only seen it once fully) has i felt it had terrible pacing and the fights(all 3 of them) were over too quick..also I thought although it looks better than most of seagals recent work the acting was poor by the support cast and it lacked a decent bad guy(at least MC had Michael Pare)

That said maybe i need to watch it again
 

rastafari

Well-Known Member
#69
To be honest, there are maybe only two movies who are "pretty solid for a DTV" in my opinion:

Pistol Whipped
The Keeper

And some others who are "OK, but with some flaws":

Driven to kill
A Dangerous Man
Belly of the Beast

The ones who are not completely bad, but not good either:

Into the Sun
Urban Justice (way too dark)
Out of Reach
Born to raise hell (the fightscenes are at least pretty good)
True Justice

And the rest of the movies who are "bad" or even "very bad":

Attack Force (the worst one)
Ticker
The Foreigner
Black Dawn
Against the Dark
Flight of Fury
Shadow Man
Kill Switch
Today you die
Maximum Conviction
Submerged
Mercenary for Justice
Out for a kill

I agree about BTRH the fights were impressive but the story was dull

I would like to see Lauro direct something in the USA with a better story
 
#70
I've got to go with Attack Force. It may not be worse than a bunch of Seagal's other DTV clunkers, but it's the only one I didn't enjoy marginally more upon rewatching. The poor fight scenes, the depressingly dark settings, the awful ADR... You almost have to love scenes like the opener, where Seagal's stand-in is sitting in shadows and his voice-over performer is speaking his lines: the audience is being asked to 100% pretend that this is Steven Seagal. This was just an un-fun disaster of a movie.
 
#71
I think Against the Dark takes the cake as Seagal's worst flick. It excelled in being bad on every level.

It has:

* A story that makes no sense.
* Actors who look like they were yanked from a homeless oerson's shelter.
* Lighting so dark it almost obliterated the bad acting.
* Makeup as convincing as a politicians promise.
* Camera work that looks like it was shot with an IPhone.
* Seagal stumbling around aimlessly as a bit player in this rubbish.

As a matter of fact it is so bad it makes Ed Wood's Plan 9 From Outer Space look like Citizen Kane in compassion.

Jack
 

Administrator

Administrator
Staff member
#72
Against The Dark is only a supporting role though, it was sold as if Seagal was the headline act in it.
I have not yet watched this one.
 

kadence1

Active Member
#72
Its honestly not that bad of a movie they actually did an alright job on it . My mom said she will never watch it because its to gruesome for her lol
 
#72
Against the Dark is by no stretch of the imagination a decent film on any level.

You can tell your mother to have no fear regarding this film being gruesome. The 'special effects' are very 'unspecial' in their implementation.

Deciding on Seagal's worst film is like picking out Adam Sandler's least funny gag. It is all an impossible task.
 
#75
Attack Force was terrible with half of Seagal's dialogue dubbed by someone who didn't sound like him.

Kill Switch had an incomprehensible ending.