Laughter is the best medicine (part 2)

[Lollipop]

Our Favorite Chocolate Quotes...
Find fun and funny chocolate quotes in our 'Top 10' List of Chocolate Quotes:


Favorite Chocolate Quotes #1Life is like a box of chocolates... you never know what you're gonna get.
~ Forrest Gump (Tom Hanks) in Forrest Gump

Favorite Chocolate Quotes #2There are four basic food groups: milk chocolate, dark chocolate, white chocolate, and chocolate truffles.
~ Anonymous

Favorite Chocolate Quotes #3Make a list of important things to do today. At the top of your list, put "eat chocolate." Now, you'll get at least one thing done today.
~~ We believe this is from Gina Hayes

Favorite Chocolate Quotes #4I never met a chocolate I didn't like.
~ Deanna Troi (Marina Sirtis) in Star Trek: The Next Generation

Favorite Chocolate Quotes #5Carob is a brown powder made from the pulverized fruit of a Mediterranean evergreen. Some consider carob an adequate substitute for chocolate because it has some similar nutrients (calcium, phosphorus), and because it can, when combined with vegetable fat and sugar, be made to approximate the color and consistency of chocolate. Of course, the same arguments can as persuasively be made in favor of dirt.
~ Sandra Boynton, author of Chocolate: the Consuming Passion

Favorite Chocolate Quotes #6And above all... Think Chocolate!
~ "Betty Crocker"

Favorite Chocolate Quotes #7The 12-step chocoholics program: NEVER BE MORE THAN 12 STEPS AWAY FROM CHOCOLATE!
~ Terry Moore

Favorite Chocolate Quotes #8All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt!
~ Lucy Van Pelt in Peanuts by Charles M. Schulz


Favorite Chocolate Quotes #9Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food.
~ Michael Levine, nutrition researcher, as quoted in The Emperors of Chocolate: Inside the Secret World of Hershey and Mars

Favorite Chocolate Quotes #10I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process.... It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance?
~ Unknown

 

[ORANGATUANG]

Cute cats Lollipop..

 

[Lollipop]

...........................................................................................................

 

[Serena]

...........................................................................................................

HAAAAA

 

[TDWoj]

This is by the man who has made an artform of self-mockery. You can't get any more self-mocking than this...

(You'll need a fairly recent version of QuickTime to watch this)

http://www.milkandcookies.com/links/22937/

 

[GlimmerMan]

That's pretty damn funny, TD.

 

[Storm]

1 Michael Jackson IS Gollum. He's preciousss.

2 We have the highest teenage pregnancy rate in Europe.

3 I like Ben. Along came Polly is great.

4 That'll be two cream eggs to go

5 No point in this!

 

[Storm]

I guess 5 was right....

 

[Lollipop]

Storm that first creature is scary!!
I liked Along came Polly!


How To Treat A Rude Customer

Indeed, an award should go to the Air Malta gate attendant at Luqa airport: some months ago for being customer focused, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo. A crowded Malta-London flight was cancelled. A single attendant was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travellers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it HAS to be FIRST CLASS". The attendant replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these people first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out." The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?" Without hesitating, the attendant smiled and grabbed her public address microphone: May I have your attention please, may I have your attention please," she began - her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at Gate14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14." With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the attendant, gritted his teeth and said, "F... You!" Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to get in line for that too."

 

[Lollipop]

............................................................................................................

 

[Anneliese]

GIRLS NIGHT OT

Why married women should avoid a girls night out:

The other night I was invited out for a night with " the girls". I hold my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!".

Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy.
Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.Just as I got in the door,the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.

Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution(even when totally smashed), in order to escape a possible conflict with him.

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him " Midnight". He didn't seem pissed off at all.Whew! Got away with that one! Then he said," We need a new cuckoo clock."

When I asked him why, he said," Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "Oh s**t.", cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it's throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted."


: Anneliese

 

[Jules]

LOL.....Anneliese!


I have a "Comment" I heard from a comedian on TV.

What do you say to a telemarketer that says this?......

"I know how to save you money!!!!!!"

Anwser:

"I know how to save you time...."...................CLICK!!!!

 

[Anneliese]

LOL.....Anneliese!


I have a "Comment" I heard from a comedian on TV.

What do you say to a telemarketer that says this?......

"I know how to save you money!!!!!!"

Anwser:

"I know how to save you time...."...................CLICK!!!!

Hey Jules, I liked this one, have to try it somes times.Those telemarketer's can realy be a pain in the rear sometimes.Thanks!!

Anneliese

 

[Anneliese]

Talking about telemarketer's!!

I got so tired of answering my phone, only to hear a person on the other end( a telemarketer) asking for me, well sort of.They cannot say my first name right(it would be Annaliza in english) and all my friends call me Ann.Well, anyway ,there was this woman on the phone asking for me, I pretented I couldnt hear her, and everytime I said Hello, she kept talking louder and louder,trying to say my name.I finally had to hang up,because I was laughing out loud.That was the first time I hung up on those people laughing, instead of being mad.I guess, that's one way to get rid off them.Well at least until the next time!

Anneliese

 

[Lollipop]

Anneliese your last two had me laughing like crazy,Thanks it is good medicine!!!

Jules that is good!!!

 

[Anneliese]

A couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks.

He wanted a new truck.

She wanted a fast little sports car so he could zip through traffic around town.

He would probably have settled on any beat up truck,but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.

"Look!" she said: I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds or less."And my birthday is coming up.You could surprise me."

So for her birthday,he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.

SERVICES ARE PENDING.

Anneliese

 

[Anneliese]

For all those man who say," Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?", here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of woman are against marriage. Why?
Because woman realize it's not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage.

Anneliese

 

[Lollipop]

good one Anneliese!


A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two are tired and fall asleep quickly...he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, he leans over and gently wakes the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

"I have a better idea," she replies. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married." "Wow! That's a great idea!!" he exclaims.

"Good," she replies. "Get your own damn blanket!"

After a moment of silence, he farted.

 

[Anneliese]

good one Anneliese!


A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two are tired and fall asleep quickly...he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, he leans over and gently wakes the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

"I have a better idea," she replies. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married." "Wow! That's a great idea!!" he exclaims.

"Good," she replies. "Get your own damn blanket!"

After a moment of silence, he farted.

That was a Good One.I laughed so hard,that the tears came. I needed that one,after I read your other thread.Keep up your faith and your sense of humor,sometimes laughter is the best medicine.

Anneliese

 

[Lollipop]

Laughter and Music rule!!! You have great jokes to I always like!!!
And you signature is how I feel!!